or maybe some people just don't know any better.
Now, let me begin with the fact that I am not the most dependable "Thank you" card writer. I usually buy the cards, start them, get distracted and neglect to finish them, or if I do finish, forget to mail them. Then, several months later it just seems like it is too late, so they just sit in the box waiting for me to find them again and be overcome with shame at not ever sending them.
Not to excuse this impolite behavior, but I must add that, although I don't always get the cards sent out, I do make a point, right away, to either thank the person face to face when I receive the gift or make a phone call and let them know it arrived and I appreciate it. I'm not always perfect at cards, but I do my best to always say thank you in some form.
I believe that it is only good manners and common courtesy to say "please", "thank you", "excuse me" and so on. When you receive a gift a phone call, e-mail, card or something to send your thanks is also, to me, a common courtesy. When a gift is sent in the mail, especially across several States it seems that it would be a polite thing to let the person know you did receive the package, no matter how insignificant the gift may be.
I also feel that if a person sends you a gift and you don't want it, or anything else they might send you, that it would be a polite thing to say "Thanks but no thanks. I don't want anything from you." At least that way the sender would know that the efforts are wasted and would be better spent on others who appreciate knowing they are thought of, cared for, and loved.
So, is one to think it is merely bad manners when an acknowledgement is not made? Or maybe they are not yet mature enough to realize the sincere thought and effort put into choosing "just the right thing"? Or, is it that they are just not adult enough to say "Thanks, but no thanks"?
I would like to think that when people neglect to say "thank you" that it is truly only bad manners or an oversight. Because I know, at least for myself, that when a gift is given, it comes from the heart. Not from obligation or guilt, but because someone wants to let someone else know that they are cared for, no matter what.
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2 comments:
Kate,
I do not know if you are referring to the girls or not but I wanted to let you know that I always make sure I get out a thank you asap when I get a gift. I know that the girls did get the box you sent and it arrived on the day adrienne was leaving for the airport. I am sure she does not have your mailing address. I hate to say this but I have always sent her thank yous ect.. and when she went to mail her boxes to Illinois she had to ask Tom how to write the address on the paper. I do not think they are intentionally ignoring your gift but are just busy right now. I asked renae and she said she let you know via my space but as far as adrienne goes.. she just does not respond to thank you stuff unless I put it in front of her and have her write something and sign it and since she is in another state that makes it difficult. They are really good girls I just have made it easy on thank you;s by helping them or doing it for them. I feel that at almost 23 and 19 they can start doing it on their own or not at all. I know you put thought and effort into the presents but even I after all these years get the short end of the stick when i give presents to Toms kids.. no matter how hard i try to find the right gifts...they never are good enough or they wanted something different.. it is a losing battle for me.. I personally think you are a really good person and I enjoy reading your blogs.. You are intelligent and creative and want the best for your children and I admire that ... it is hard to get the approval of someone you have never met. Renae is easier as far as communicating on my space but adrienne is black and white and not very open to new people or things... just don't try to hard and get your feelings hurt.... I only say this because it happens to me... all the time at birthdays and christmas ect.. I try to pick out things I think toms kids will love and it is never the right thing.. or they complain.. you are a good person and so am i.. and we are just trying to be good .. it is hard.. I understand..
Brenda,
I was not pointing fingers at anyone or any instance in particular. This was just a general blog about something that was on my mind.
Renae has always been very gracious about the things I have sent to her, no matter how big or small. And she usually lets me know right away when she receives them. I appreciate her for that.
My intent was not to offend or criticize anyone.
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