Time

As I get older, especially over the last several months, I have found that I value time more than anything. Maybe it's the loss of my mother and sister or maybe it's a combination of that along with being away from my family. I am finding it very lonely here in Oregon.

Don't get me wrong. I do really like it here and I know it was the best thing to do. It has been a blessing being here in so many ways. But I would be lying if I said I didn't miss seeing my dad every day, if I said I didn't miss seeing my niece nearly every day, if I said I didn't miss my dear friends. I do miss them all very, very much. It is hard to start anew. I had lived in southern Idaho longer than I had ever lived in one place at one time. It was my home. It was all familiar, comfortable. We had our doctors, dentists, optometrist, orthodontist. I knew exactly which store to go to get exactly what I wanted. I never had to search for anything. I knew where it all was. Now, I have to learn it all over again.

But I digress. This blog is about time. When someone would ask me what I wanted I could think about it for awhile and finally come up with something. A new pair of shoes, a dress or some other item of clothing, a new bathrobe or maybe slippers, a necklace, bracelet or something else shiny and pretty. Now, I can think for days and days and if I do think of something, it's something practical - like a new facet to replace the leaky one in the tub or a kitty door. It is getting harder and harder to think of "things" that I want.

I am finding that I truly treasure time. I would love the "time" to go out with my husband and just be together, "time" with my children to go to the park or simply sit on the couch and read a book together, "time" - simply "time".

Time is so precious and so fleeting. It never stands still. It goes by, sometimes quickly, sometimes painfully slow, but always the same, it goes.

Five years ago today, at this very moment in time, my mother was taking her last breaths. In exactly 3 minutes from now, she took her last...in my arms...and she was gone. Her time was done. Her spirit free. Her pain released. Our pain increased. A new time began.

I treasure every minute that I had with my mom, even the last. I am thankful for the small town that we lived in, that allowed the personal touch of business people. I was allowed the time with my mother, to make her pretty, curl her hair, paint her fingernails and apply her make-up for the last time her family and friends would see her. To spend the last bit of time with her. Time.

Saturday I got to spend time with my dad. He came here to visit for the weekend. One of the things he has always wanted to do is to "ocean fish". So, for the short time he was here, I planned a fishing trip. We drove to Newport and spent the night. On the way there we stopped for dinner at a Chinese place. Our fortune cookies promised us a successful time fishing. We had a nice time sharing our meal together.

Then we went on to Newport and stayed the night in a hotel. We spent time, before falling asleep, talking about numerous things, nothing really, just talking and visiting and spending time. We had to get up very early to get to the boat, so finally we went to sleep. We were up ahead of time. So we took advantage and spent it on each other. Darren and I went to get some coffee while dad and the kids woke up.

After we had our things packed up and our several layers of clothes put on, we went out for breakfast and spent some more time talking about what lay ahead. What it might be like on the boat. Anticipating the fish we were going to catch. We finished our breakfast and headed for the dock. We boarded the little boat. It held only 6 passengers. We were the 6. We had a wonderful time. We caught our limit and then 5 more for the captain.

I will forever treasure the time I got to spend with my dad, my children and my husband. My dad has wanted to "ocean fish" ever since he first came to America. He says he "had the best time". He says he will remember "the time I went ocean fishing" for the rest of his life. I hope it is a long time that he will be able to remember it. My children will always remember "the time they went fishing on the ocean" with their Grampa. I will always remember the time...

Time. It can be a cruel enemy. It can be a dear friend. I treasure time. Time is all I want. Time to enjoy my family. Time to enjoy my friends. Time alone to relax and reflect on the time that I've had. Time to put my thoughts in order and my emotions in check so that the time I spend with others is time they will treasure as fondly as I will. Time to be the kind of friend " a friend would like to have".