God is Good

"Rejoice in the Lord, always, and again I say rejoice"

The Lord has blessed me with the most amazing friends. The kindness that comes from their hearts beams with the love and spirit of God.

Since the death of my mother I have felt very empty and lonely. That is not to say that every aspect of my life was gloomy. To the contrary, I have tried to focus on the many wonderful people still in my life; my children, father, husband, niece and other family members along with my dear old friends. I find joy in the little things that remind me every day of all the goodness around us. However, my mother occupied such a large part of my everyday life that the void left by her absence is sometimes overwhelming. She was the one person that I could say anything to and know it would not be held against me later. I could vent and pout and scream and cry and complain. I could laugh and smile and joke and prattle on until we were both exhausted. It never mattered. She always had time for me. She always new what was truly in my heart. She was my mother first and then my best friend. She knew when to take me seriously and when to just "smile and nod". Sometimes people would ask "What's HER problem?" and my mom would just shrug and say, "Wait a while, she'll be ok. She's just in one of her moods." She accepted me 100%, just as I am, no questions asked. I could talk to her about anything and she would listen and she would understand.

I know there will never be anyone like her in my life again. I know that is ok. That is the way it is. We are born, we live, we die. Since her death I have learned so many new things and have grown and matured in ways that I know I never would have before. I am finally learning how to open my heart and my eyes to the friends I have. Some of them I have known for many year. I had never really opened my heart to them. Not because I didn't trust them, but because I thought I didn't need them. I had my mama. I didn't socialize very much. Again, I didn't need to, I had my mama and I had my sister and that was really all I needed.

Now I embark on an entirely new chapter in my life. I have wonderful friends who I can talk to, who I can share with, who also have opened their lives and invited me in. We take turns offering each other comfort and joy, friendship and fellowship.

I know things will never be the same. But, you know...that isn't always such a bad thing!