It is funny how different people bring out different things in each other. For example, I have an uncle who used to be pretty mean to his first wife. From what I have heard, he used to yell at her, say mean things to her, threaten her and even, on occasion, he would hit her. His second wife, well, he knew she wouldn't put up with his nonsense and he never even raised his voice to her, let alone, a hand.
I see things like this in my own family. Some family members get along just fine, others, well, they are over sensitive to certain people whom others just take with a grain of salt or simply just ignore, understanding where the offending person is coming from. I see it in friends, acquaintances and co-workers.
My ex, whom, obviously I cared for at one time, brings out the very worst in me. Especially when he pulls stunts like he's done this August. He brings out a side of me that even I do not like. I hate how he is able to push my buttons. I am better at controlling myself and how I respond to him, but I still feel the yucky tension vibrating inside me. The old saying in so many Westerns, "This town ain't big enough for the two of us" really applies with he and me.
The other day I made a comment to my nephew intended to support him, and he mis-understood and took it as a personal attack. I know he is sensitive and should have kept my mouth shut. The situation, however, brought out the protective part of me - and the defensive part of him. Not a good combination.
My husband is not perfect. To be honest, I want to give him a "boot to the head" sometimes. (a reference to an old radio program - Dr. Demento ;0) ) But, overall, he is great! He has his faults and I'll be the first to admit it, but, don't we all?
This summer has been so hard for me. The last time I saw my 2 youngest children was July 3rd and my oldest, July 12. I have never been away from my kids for that long and it was probably one of the most difficult things I have ever done. Darren was so good to me over these months without my kids. I have been moody, grouchy, and very sad and depressed. He has been so sweet. For the most part he knew when to leave me alone and when to hold me close. He didn't criticize me even one time when I would have days where I simply laid around the house and did nothing and let dishes and laundry pile up. He helped with the cooking when I couldn't bring myself to do it. For my birthday, he even made an effort to fix the dishwasher that came with our house. When it looked to be more trouble than it was worth, he bought us a re-manufactured one (money has been VERY tight this summer) to help make things easier for me. Not the most romantic gift, but certainly a very thoughtful one and something I actually wanted.
My niece got me the sweetest gifts. I'll have to take a picture and post them. For Mother's Day she bought me a book - one that I will write. It is one about my own life where I fill in the blanks. It made me cry. For my birthday she gave me a plate with the Lord's Prayer and a really, really fun and cute Dr. Sues notebook. It has notes that you tear out and give to others all written in the style of Dr. Sues. I LOVE it! It is SO much fun. She doesn't get along with everyone. She's kind of spoiled. (Yes, I've even said it to her face) But she is the sweetest girl to me and I don't know what I'd do without her. She is a lifesaver.
Today I am wrapping things up in Idaho. The kids and I will be heading back to Oregon first thing tomorrow morning. We'll be stopping in Sumpter and camping with Darren, his dad, his brothers and nephews. Emi and I will only stay for one day. Then we'll leave the boys to their boy-time, hunting and camping for a week or so and she and I will enjoy some girl-time.
I am so happy to have my kids back. I know they have to spend time with their dad, and I won't deny him that. But I am much happier when they are home with me. My children bring out what is best in me. My husband makes me want to be better than I am. My wonderful niece and father bring out the good in me. These I will focus on. I will do all I can to learn to let the good come out when I have to interact with those who try to make me less than I am.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Fingerprints and miracles
I believe in many things. Some silly, some serious and some, well, it's just "the world according to me". I believe in Santa Claus. Not a fat man in a red suit with flying reindeer, but who and what he is supposed to represent. I have witnessed Santa Claus in my own life. I believe in trusting people until they give me a reason not to. I believe in good manners. I believe in family. I believe in unconditional love and acceptance. I believe in honesty. I believe in ghosts. I believe in angels. I believe in spirits, both good and bad. I believe in the rights of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. I believe in the right for all American Citizens to bear arms - any that they choose. I believe in life, for the young, the old, the unborn and everyone in between. I believe in God. I believe in Miracles.
Over this past week I have seen the work of God in our lives. I don't think that He has to do some great feat to show He exists. It's the little everyday fingerprints that, if we pay attention, we can know He is there. Flowers blooming, berries becoming ripe, the death of nature in the winter and the rebirth in the spring. He is all around us. Everyday. I believe that He gives us miracles all the time. Not always in big ways, but in timing things to work out at just the right minute, when there was no foresight of the solution.
The parting of the Red Sea, for example, has been explained by scientists as a natural occurring phenomenon. The miracle wasn't so much the parting of the Sea, but the timing of it. It parted as it was needed and it flowed freely again at just the right moment.
This past week we have seen some miracles of our own. The school I worked for closed down. The part-time wages I had been expecting to be able to earn over the summer were gone. My ex did not send his child support on time. (He is asking for a reduction effective in August and apparently was waiting for me to default on the request and have it granted). I had applied for unemployment but had been denied pending investigation. (When you work for a school, one cannot collect unemployment over the summer months). So, we were left with a dilemma. One - no money to pay rent. Two - no money for me to be able to pick my kids up from Idaho. Three - no gas in the car. Four - no money for groceries. Five - the dog was out of food, too.
Here are our miracles. (1) Darren had put some things for sale. He received one call and one call only. He made exactly enough to pay the rent. (2) Although my ex did not send the full amount of support (I guess he is granting the request himself, as I did not default and the court has not yet approved the reduction), he did send half, which bought our groceries, dog food and other necessities. (3) I was approved for unemployment benefits (since the school is permanently closed) so I now have sufficient gas money to go get my kids.
These may not seem like miracles to everyone. But, to me, they are. The timing of Darren putting the items up for sale. He could have done it long ago, or not yet. But he had the desire to do it at just the right time, when we needed it. And they sold immediately. Had he put them up at a different time, there may not have been anyone in the market or willing to pay the same price. I filed for unemployment benefits the first part of July. Because of the cutbacks in the school districts, there are many school workers applying for benefits. I was told it could take 60 - 90 days to be approved. The approval came through exactly when I needed it to as did the posting of my child support.
Miracles don't have to be huge answers to prayer; people rising from the dead, cancer tumors disappearing, winning the lottery. I believe they come in everyday fingerprints. Perfect timing in our hour of need. Nothing special or dramatic, just a simple post mark on the right day, at the right place at the right time. Just enough to let us know He is still there. He IS listening. And He will always take care of us. Just as a human parent would help their grown children. He doesn't give us all that we desire. He gives us what we need to glorify Him.
The miracle isn't always in the gift, but in the timing.
Over this past week I have seen the work of God in our lives. I don't think that He has to do some great feat to show He exists. It's the little everyday fingerprints that, if we pay attention, we can know He is there. Flowers blooming, berries becoming ripe, the death of nature in the winter and the rebirth in the spring. He is all around us. Everyday. I believe that He gives us miracles all the time. Not always in big ways, but in timing things to work out at just the right minute, when there was no foresight of the solution.
The parting of the Red Sea, for example, has been explained by scientists as a natural occurring phenomenon. The miracle wasn't so much the parting of the Sea, but the timing of it. It parted as it was needed and it flowed freely again at just the right moment.
This past week we have seen some miracles of our own. The school I worked for closed down. The part-time wages I had been expecting to be able to earn over the summer were gone. My ex did not send his child support on time. (He is asking for a reduction effective in August and apparently was waiting for me to default on the request and have it granted). I had applied for unemployment but had been denied pending investigation. (When you work for a school, one cannot collect unemployment over the summer months). So, we were left with a dilemma. One - no money to pay rent. Two - no money for me to be able to pick my kids up from Idaho. Three - no gas in the car. Four - no money for groceries. Five - the dog was out of food, too.
Here are our miracles. (1) Darren had put some things for sale. He received one call and one call only. He made exactly enough to pay the rent. (2) Although my ex did not send the full amount of support (I guess he is granting the request himself, as I did not default and the court has not yet approved the reduction), he did send half, which bought our groceries, dog food and other necessities. (3) I was approved for unemployment benefits (since the school is permanently closed) so I now have sufficient gas money to go get my kids.
These may not seem like miracles to everyone. But, to me, they are. The timing of Darren putting the items up for sale. He could have done it long ago, or not yet. But he had the desire to do it at just the right time, when we needed it. And they sold immediately. Had he put them up at a different time, there may not have been anyone in the market or willing to pay the same price. I filed for unemployment benefits the first part of July. Because of the cutbacks in the school districts, there are many school workers applying for benefits. I was told it could take 60 - 90 days to be approved. The approval came through exactly when I needed it to as did the posting of my child support.
Miracles don't have to be huge answers to prayer; people rising from the dead, cancer tumors disappearing, winning the lottery. I believe they come in everyday fingerprints. Perfect timing in our hour of need. Nothing special or dramatic, just a simple post mark on the right day, at the right place at the right time. Just enough to let us know He is still there. He IS listening. And He will always take care of us. Just as a human parent would help their grown children. He doesn't give us all that we desire. He gives us what we need to glorify Him.
The miracle isn't always in the gift, but in the timing.
Saturday, August 15, 2009
It was 1980-something
when the 4 of us met. It was our first year out of elementary school. We were in the 7th grade at Mt. View Jr. High School.
Over the years we moved around. 1987 found us graduating; one from John R. Rogers High School, one from Deer Park High School and the other two from East Valley High School. Two of us went to Spokane Falls College together for a little over a year, then one moved away, then the other. By 2000 something the four of us had not heard from one or another in a few years. There were boyfriends, marriages, babies and breakups over time. We all grew up and created our lives, some found a path and stayed on it, some changed paths and yet another is still looking to find the way.
Then, one day the stars all aligned perfectly and the 4 of us were able to be in the same place at the same time. So, on July 26, 2009, we all got together and had a slumber-birthday party. We had such a fantastic time!
It is such a tremendous blessing to still be such close friends with the girls I met when I was 12 years old. All 3 of them are a blessing in my life. I am proud to know them and even more proud to call them friends!
Here's to us - Mt. View Jr. High School Lancers - Class of 1984!
Is it just bad manners...
or maybe some people just don't know any better.
Now, let me begin with the fact that I am not the most dependable "Thank you" card writer. I usually buy the cards, start them, get distracted and neglect to finish them, or if I do finish, forget to mail them. Then, several months later it just seems like it is too late, so they just sit in the box waiting for me to find them again and be overcome with shame at not ever sending them.
Not to excuse this impolite behavior, but I must add that, although I don't always get the cards sent out, I do make a point, right away, to either thank the person face to face when I receive the gift or make a phone call and let them know it arrived and I appreciate it. I'm not always perfect at cards, but I do my best to always say thank you in some form.
I believe that it is only good manners and common courtesy to say "please", "thank you", "excuse me" and so on. When you receive a gift a phone call, e-mail, card or something to send your thanks is also, to me, a common courtesy. When a gift is sent in the mail, especially across several States it seems that it would be a polite thing to let the person know you did receive the package, no matter how insignificant the gift may be.
I also feel that if a person sends you a gift and you don't want it, or anything else they might send you, that it would be a polite thing to say "Thanks but no thanks. I don't want anything from you." At least that way the sender would know that the efforts are wasted and would be better spent on others who appreciate knowing they are thought of, cared for, and loved.
So, is one to think it is merely bad manners when an acknowledgement is not made? Or maybe they are not yet mature enough to realize the sincere thought and effort put into choosing "just the right thing"? Or, is it that they are just not adult enough to say "Thanks, but no thanks"?
I would like to think that when people neglect to say "thank you" that it is truly only bad manners or an oversight. Because I know, at least for myself, that when a gift is given, it comes from the heart. Not from obligation or guilt, but because someone wants to let someone else know that they are cared for, no matter what.
Now, let me begin with the fact that I am not the most dependable "Thank you" card writer. I usually buy the cards, start them, get distracted and neglect to finish them, or if I do finish, forget to mail them. Then, several months later it just seems like it is too late, so they just sit in the box waiting for me to find them again and be overcome with shame at not ever sending them.
Not to excuse this impolite behavior, but I must add that, although I don't always get the cards sent out, I do make a point, right away, to either thank the person face to face when I receive the gift or make a phone call and let them know it arrived and I appreciate it. I'm not always perfect at cards, but I do my best to always say thank you in some form.
I believe that it is only good manners and common courtesy to say "please", "thank you", "excuse me" and so on. When you receive a gift a phone call, e-mail, card or something to send your thanks is also, to me, a common courtesy. When a gift is sent in the mail, especially across several States it seems that it would be a polite thing to let the person know you did receive the package, no matter how insignificant the gift may be.
I also feel that if a person sends you a gift and you don't want it, or anything else they might send you, that it would be a polite thing to say "Thanks but no thanks. I don't want anything from you." At least that way the sender would know that the efforts are wasted and would be better spent on others who appreciate knowing they are thought of, cared for, and loved.
So, is one to think it is merely bad manners when an acknowledgement is not made? Or maybe they are not yet mature enough to realize the sincere thought and effort put into choosing "just the right thing"? Or, is it that they are just not adult enough to say "Thanks, but no thanks"?
I would like to think that when people neglect to say "thank you" that it is truly only bad manners or an oversight. Because I know, at least for myself, that when a gift is given, it comes from the heart. Not from obligation or guilt, but because someone wants to let someone else know that they are cared for, no matter what.
Saturday, August 1, 2009
The Thank You Campaign
I'm not sure how to post video on here, so I'll just paste in the link.
As I am sure you can tell from previous posts, I am a proud American and supporter of our troops. My father and son are members of the Idaho POW/MIA organization and I participate regularly. I have a POW/MIA Soldiers bracelet which I wear faithfully. I believe it takes a strong man* to fight for our country and even stronger families to stay behind and support them. They all deserve our thanks. Here is one way to show it...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MSfFYxSdKdo
*used in the "mankind" sense. They know who they are. Being "politically correct" is kinda' silly if you ask me...
As I am sure you can tell from previous posts, I am a proud American and supporter of our troops. My father and son are members of the Idaho POW/MIA organization and I participate regularly. I have a POW/MIA Soldiers bracelet which I wear faithfully. I believe it takes a strong man* to fight for our country and even stronger families to stay behind and support them. They all deserve our thanks. Here is one way to show it...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MSfFYxSdKdo
*used in the "mankind" sense. They know who they are. Being "politically correct" is kinda' silly if you ask me...
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