Darren & Kate - 06.07.08

The end of the story

2012-01-08T18:49:00.000-08:00

I haven't been on in quite a while. Why? Well, basically because I'm not much of a blogger - I don't think my life is that interesting.

This will be the last post for "Darren & Kate" -- as 2011 drew to an end, so did our marriage. I'm not going to go into any of the yucky details here. If you'd like to know what happened, feel free to ask. I will answer as best I can - in a private e-mail or phone call or personal visit, if you'd like.

It was not an easy decision, but one that had to be made for the sake of all concerned. I may start a new blog - I don't know. If I do, I'll post that information on my facebook page. If you're not one of my "friends" there, you can find me by looking for Katherine L. Maher. Send a request or message there and I'll be happy to respond.

Wishing you all the blessings, peace and happiness in 2012

Planes, boats & automobiles

2010-06-30T10:44:00.000-07:00

School is out, summer is here. Finally!

The kids finished school a few days before I could get time off of work. So, as a surprise, I planned to have my dad fly in and spend the week with the kids so they wouldn't be home alone while Darren and I were at work. Dad couldn't come as soon as I'd hoped, so the kids did have one day they spent a part of at home. Dad flew in on Thursday.

Saturday we went to the coast. First we went up to Karl's house to celebrate his birthday. Dad and Darren later went fishing and to the casino for a bit while the kids and I stayed and visited and played cards. At the end of the day Emi & Aaron wanted to stay and play with KJ and Patrick wanted to hang out with Leo. Darren, dad and I went on in to Lincoln City, had a fabulous dinner at Mo's then went on to the hotel room we'd rented.

Sunday morning, Father's Day, we went to breakfast at Pig'n Pancake. Odd name, but the food was pretty good. Darren had a blueberry waffle & I had strawberry crepes. We were going to split it. We each ate half, then traded plates. Darren took a few bites of the crepes and asked for his waffle back. As yummy as the crepes were, I really didn't want to give him back his waffle. It was REALLY good :) Then we went to Devil's Lake. I had rented a small boat for a day of fishing. It kept wanting to rain a bit. After an hour or two, Patrick called and was ready to meet up with us. He has spent the night with Leo & Becky and they were on their way to church. After a bit more fishing we went to lunch at the casino. It was pretty good food and the price was even better. Patrick & Dad went back out on the boat while Darren and I went up to Karl's to get Aaron & Emileigh. It was raining but Dad, Patrick and Aaron went back out in the boat to enjoy some more fishing. So I dropped Darren off back at the casino and Emi and I went to the outlet mall for a little shopping. I got a couple gifts for Sara and a gift for my dad for father's day (besides the day of fishing that he'd asked for). After an hour or so we were totally done with shopping, dad was ready to call it a day and Darren was done at the casino.

We stopped for an ice cream cone and headed back to Salem.

Monday I tied up a few loose ends at work and made arrangements for the rental car. Then I got the house picked up and the kids and I got things packed up and ready for the trip to Idaho. Time to send them off for their summer visit with their dad. One of the most difficult times of the year.

Tuesday I got up bright and early. Dad and I went to get the rental car. We got back to the house and started loading up. We left only 1/2 hour later than I'd planned. For those of you who know me at all, that is an amazing start!

The drive was long but uneventful. We stopped more than I usually do so that dad could get out and walk around. He is still retaining a lot of fluids so needed to keep his blood flowing and move around to keep from getting too much swelling in his legs and feet.

We finally made it. The trip took about 4 hours longer than usual, but all in all, it was an easy drive. As much as I enjoy Oregon, I must say, it does feel nice to be back home.

Patience is not my virtue

2010-06-29T23:51:00.000-07:00

Wow! I can't believe that Darren and I have been together for over six years now, and married for two. It's crazy how sometimes life seems to just fly so quickly in some ways and yet crawl like a snail in others. Darren and I have been through so much together that it feels like we've already lived a lifetime together. I have a difficult time remembering what it was like before he came into my life. Then there are those days when things feel so fresh and new, like we just met. Time is so very fickle in it's presentation.

My wonderful niece is about to have a baby...any day...her due date is today but baby is not cooperating. In this case, time is not being very kind. You see, I am on a bit of a schedule. I really can't take a ton of time off of work, so I am very anxious for this baby to come. Don't get me wrong, I will stay until baby comes, it's just I want to be able to spend as much time with baby and helping her as I can. Also, I can't wait to just be there for her, to share the experience of becoming a mother with her, to see her face when she sees her very own child for the first time, when she holds her precious gift close to her heart, the same way her mother held her. I also, selfishly, can't wait to hold this child, myself. This new life in our family, this new gift of joy.

I know babies come when babies are ready. I know it won't "stay inside" forever. But just as it seems the six years since I met my husband have flown by like a dream, it seems this baby is enjoying making us wait. And, as I said in the beginning, patience is not my virtue.

you may have noticed...

2010-06-08T07:45:00.001-07:00

...that I've had my blog on private. I had thought everyone who was interested in my blog was already on the reading list...until a couple of friends sent me a message asking for permission to read it.

So, I've opened it back up long enough for this post. If you are not on the reading list, and you'd like to be, please let me know. This goes for ANYONE - as long as I at least recognize your name or family connection, you are welcome here :) I know, for myself, there are a few blogs that I read that the author probably has never heard of me, but they are family of my husband...so I read them to keep him up to date on what's going on with his family; aunts, uncles, cousins, children and so on. I figure, since I have made myself welcome to read about you, I will welcome you to read about me. Although, for the life of me, I don't understand why you'd want to ;o)

This blog will be left open for a week or so. (maybe longer since I am clearly not such a faithful blogger). Then I will be going back to private.

A long time coming

2010-06-07T21:19:00.000-07:00

So... where did I leave off? Who knows...

I have the most amazing children! The do so many chores, and usually without complaint. We were having a bbq with tons of family coming over and they cleaned and cleaned and cleaned... not just the regular stuff, but they helped dust, wash finger prints off the walls, winter yuk off of the windows, swept the driveway (where the party was going to be) and so much more! They are the greatest helpers a mom could ask for!

Let's see... since February.... Darren & Emi have each had birthdays. For Darren's we had a bbq and invited his family over. All of his brothers came, his dad and his wife, a brother-in-law, a couple nephews, cousins and, to our surprise, Karl & Kim (Darren's uncle and aunt) were able to make it, too! The weather cooperated and I believe everyone had a really nice time visiting and eating.

The following weekend Emi had her birthday party. The weather did not cooperate for her. It was chilly and rainy. She had a few friends over and they played twister, sang with her karoake machine and just had giggly girl time. Aaron stayed at a cousin's house, but poor Patrick was stuck home -- he wasn't crazy about that, but... Emi had a nice birthday celebration :)

For Memorial Day weekend we had our very first ever family vacation. Now, that's not to say we haven't done stuff as a family because we have. We've been camping and taken road trips, seen sights and so on. But this was our first vacation-type trip. It didn't start off so great. It took longer to get things ready than we thought. We borrowed Leo & Becky's motor-home and drove to Ashland for a field target tournament. Then, when we were almost there we ended up having to call for a "jump or a tow". (Thank goodness for AAA - a WHOLE other story). They were able to jump us and followed us to a AAA approved shop to check out what the problem was. Turned out to be a broken serpentine belt. They were going to charge us nearly $150. But since Darren is such a handy guy, we simply bought the belt for the $40 and the guy gave us another jump, we pulled to the lot next door and Darren changed the belt, himself. Then we were on our way again. While in Ashland we found a park that we all played in and then we went to the range. We camped there. The boys all shot and Emi and I enjoyed the peaceful area -- reading, playing games, watching the match, and just relaxing.

Then we took the long way home, stopping at Diamond Lake to spend a night and day. We cooked over a camp-fire, the boys fished and we, again, enjoyed games and just being outside. On the rest of the drive home we stopped a couple times to fish, but the weather wasn't being cooperative, so no fish for us. It was a GREAT weekend. The boys had SO much fun, which made it wonderful for me and Emi and I had some wonderful mom-daughter time.

Let's see... what else.... well... my health has been...uuummm... not quite right. Docs keep saying nothing is wrong, but it is clear something is (or was -- the problem seems to have cured itself for the time being) -- and it was causing me lots of stress. The medication they put me on made me really moody and I felt like I was going crazy! I am not a control freak, but, when it comes to myself, I HAVE to be in control of me! It scares me to death and makes me quite anxious when I feel out of control of myself. Anyway, I quit taking the medication since it wasn't doing anything anyway. Since then (it's been a week or so) I feel SO much better! Still nervous about what's going on and having to decide if surgery is the right answer, and if so, which one (they are giving me a couple options) -- but for now I think everything is back to "normal" so I'm not going to stress over it.

A 13 year old school mate and friend of Patrick and one of our nephews died a couple weeks ago. "They" are not saying if it was an accident or an "accident-on-purpose", but either way, the boy took his own life. It hit the kids VERY hard. And it hit me hard, too. At the memorial one of the teachers said the boy didn't think he had any friends, but there were SO many kids there to remember him, so many cards and posters and sentiments for the family. The boy was having such a hard time and didn't realize how many people cared about him. That is SO sad to me. How, not only someone can feel that alone and helpless (because I have felt it myself, recently), but for them to not realize how many lives they affect, how many lives they touch each and every day. I mean, I never even met the boy, but he touched both me and my family. I know what it feels like to want to just curl up in a ball and die. But I also realize that my children and my family would be devastated if that were to happen - and that is what keeps me going. But for a 13 year old child... How do you reach them? How do you make them listen and hear that it REALLY isn't that bad -- life is that hard for everyone at that age... how do you make them realize that drugs, dropping out of school, gangs, and even taking your own life -- all of those things aren't worth it... that they will get older and look back and realize it was normal to feel the way they were feeling and that many, many, many other children feel the same way. That they are not alone... how do you make them see? It is so sad. It makes me remember to love my children harder, scold them softer and open my eyes and ears wider...

The school year is winding down. Patrick & Emi are preparing for their final band concert. My dad is going to come for a visit after school is out (shhh... the kids don't know -- we are surprising them) to stay with the kids while I work, before we head to Idaho. The kids are getting antsy... they want to go to Idaho to see family and friends, but aren't crazy about the idea of having to spend the entire summer with their dad. Things around home start getting tense, the kids bicker more, complain more and over-all have a hard time. I don't even think they know or understand their feelings. I've figured it out because the pattern is so clear -- everything is fine until 2 or 3 weeks before a visit -- but once they are there, it is usually ok, for the most part and they have a fairly, reasonably good time; all things considered.

I am excited for the trip to Idaho. Besides getting to see my family and friends that I miss so much, I get to be there when my niece has her first baby (it better be on time! :D ) and we get to do all the fun wedding planning/shopping/baby stuff. I am going to be a "gramish"! You know, a grandma-ish ... my sister passed away as did my mom (like you didn't know that) and I had always promised my sister I'd take care of the kids if anything ever happened to her -- so now I am my niece's "mom-ish" so when the baby comes I get to be a "gramish" :D I can't tell you how excited I am! I know I have step-grandchildren, but it's just not the same. For one thing, it is unlikely that I will ever get to even meet any of them, and even if I did, they live so very, very far away, I wouldn't likely get to know them. My niece's baby, on the other hand.... well... let's just say I can't wait!

Yesterday Patrick & Emi had their first official Holy Communion. They have been working hard over the past several weeks to complete the First Communion Class. They had homework to do and thing to memorize and recite (or write out - which ever they chose). Their hard work paid off and they both passed the class along with 1 other boy. The class started with 5 and only 3 finished. Anyway, they have completed that milestone at church. This fall Patrick will start Confirmation class. He will learn a lot and I'm sure he'll enjoy it. I'm not sure if Emi will be taking that class with him or if she has to wait a year. I'm not going to worry about it right now since it doesn't start until the fall and they are getting ready for their summer in Idaho.

Today is our 2 wedding anniversary and this week is our 6 year together anniversary. I can't believe how time flies. When Darren and I met I never thought this is where we'd be. Heck, when we first met the only thing I was interested in was a date. I didn't even want a boyfriend. I just wanted some adult distraction -- someone to watch movies with, go out to eat... just generic, casual, platonic, innocent, friend, date kind of thing. An adult to hang out with during the times that my kids were with their dad so I didn't have to spend so much time alone - 30 miles from anywhere. And here we are - 6 years later, married and happy. Actually happy. I never thought it would happen. After so much bad luck, I had figured it was just a fantasy in my mind, never to be a reality for me. Boy was I wrong.

I'm not saying we haven't had our ups and downs, because we have. The road has often been rocky, with giant sink holes and boulders in the way. But, so far, we have conquered all the challenges and made our way around the road-blocks. Sometimes we pull against each other, but somehow we always end up leaning on one another and we make it through; getting stronger all the time.

So...that's about it. Nothing exciting. Just an ordinary life. Until next time...
Don't take a single second for granted...

Pray for You - Jaron and The Long Road to Love :: Official Video

2010-05-21T20:55:00.000-07:00

Don't know about you, but I can say, for certain, that I have felt this way more than once in my life. Even recently, in fact, thoughts like this have crossed my mind.

It may not be nice, and it may not be "right", but it is real. I think everyone, man and woman, has felt this way. I hate to admit it, well, actually, I don't, but listening to this song brings a smile to my face. Think what you will, say what you will, but if you're totally honest, you will have to admit you smiled, too :D

Enjoy :D

Foreboding February

2010-03-22T22:17:00.000-07:00

February used to be a month that I looked forward to, with all of the hope and promise of the new life spring would bring after the long winter sleep. More recently, though, it has held more sadness, loneliness and longing.

While at my dad's house helping him during his most recent return home from the hospital, I found a poem. I do not remember where we got it, but reading brought forth many bitter-sweet memories. I hope it speaks to your heart, as well.

For My Mama

"Don't worry about the little things"
My Mama used to say.
"The Spirit's on your shoulder
And He'll show you the way."

"Ask the Lord for guidance
He'll surely get you through
No matter what the trial
He's always there with you."

"So lighten up your step, dear,
There's no need for heavy heart
And if you do your very best
God always does His part."

How I miss my darling Mama
But I thank God every day
For the many years He blessed me
With the things she had to say.

My mom had so many little sayings. Some she got from her own mother and others, I suppose, were just her own. I hear her voice sometimes when I say some of those things to my own children; "clean the corners and the middle will take care of itself", "if it's not yours, don't touch it", "if you don't want something to happen (good or bad) don't put yourself in the position where it will", and my favorite, "God will take care of it. He always does".

Each year, February had been a month of anticipation. The snow was melting, the weather was getting warmer, money didn't seem to be quite so tight. And, it was mom's birthday. The first birthday celebration of the year! Then 2004 happened. We found mom was very sick and then, all of a sudden, she was gone. Shortly after that my dad had a heart attack and ended up in the hospital. The following February he had quadruple bypass surgery. Spring no longer held the promise of new life, but had more of a tension, trying to hold on to the life that seemed to be slipping away.

Then, for a time, life found a new pace. Not the light one of the past, but a steady, determined pace. Life seemed to be finding an upward track. There were some tragedies and some delights. Then February 2010 was upon us. By the end of January dad was not doing well again. In February he ended up back in the hospital.

The bypass surgery he had done in 2005 had to be done over. When the doctors performed the surgery they found they were only able to do a single bypass, not the 4 he needed. He also had emphysema and one lung was attached to his heart. After the surgery he developed congestive heart failure, and later, pneumonia. He has been in and out of the hospital ever since.

I have been praying every day. One of the many things my mom taught me, and another of her sayings was to "be careful what you ask for. You just might get it". She taught me to pray carefully. To talk with God, to tell him what was on my heart, but to always end with "thy will be done". She also always said to make sure to ask for the strength to accept the answer if His will would be difficult to bear, and to have a heart of praise and thanksgiving, either way, because in the end He knew what was best and it would be a blessing to us even if we didn't see it right away.

Since February life has been full of challenges, more than usual. But each day I pray that my dad will get better if that is God's will. Although it has been an up and down roller coaster ride, he does seem to be improving, three steps forward, two steps back. Spring is on it's way. The sun is shining more, flowers are blooming. There are more sunny, warm days than cold, dark days. My heart is, again, full of hope and anticipation.

My mom used to frequently say, "be thankful for what you have and don't worry about what you don't". So, as another foreboding February becomes history, I will be thankful for my many blessings. I have 3 children who are respectful, smart, talented and normal human beings, I have a husband that loves me faults and all, I have family who accepts me just as I am, I friends who enjoy my company and I enjoy theirs (even though they are all several hundred miles away), a job, a place to lay my head, food on my table, and my father is still alive and healing a little bit more each day. And if dad's room in God's mansion is ready for him more sooner than later, I will be thankful for the many years I was confused and frustrated and angered and blessed and comforted by the things my daddy had to say...

And I know I will be ok, because "God never gives us more than we can handle".

Some times are more tragic than others...

2010-02-02T19:10:00.000-08:00

I had intended that my next post (which would be this one) be more of a happy one, but I couldn't find the pictures I wanted to include, so I procrastinated. You guessed it, I am the QUEEN of procrastination - I even have a crown to prove it :D Anyway, because of my procrastination things have changed and my happy post is postponed.

As you may or may not know, I lost my mama to cancer in February 2004, just 5 days before her 62nd birthday. I'm sure I mentioned before that we had her "celebration of life" on her birthday, complete with cake and her favorite music. In February of 2005 my dad suffered major heart difficulty and ended up having quad-bypass surgery. Since then he has had various, somewhat minor health problems that, to date, have been able to be treated. One of the bigger problems was pain and lack of circulation in his legs. One of the complications from this was that he was unable to get around very well. He had trouble getting his groceries, walking and due to cramps, even sleeping through the night was a major challenge. The doctors were able to finally remedy this with a surgery that put an electronic device in his back that sends electrical impulses to his nerves to relieve the pain. Since that time he has seemed to be improving daily. He's been able to do nearly all of his own shopping and work throughout the day virtually pain free. Things were really looking up and we were planning for him to come visit again over President's day weekend and go fishing, as we did last year. We were all looking forward to it, especially since Dad would be able to actually stand and enjoy the fishing this year. Last year was hard because his legs kept cramping up.

But Murphy's law won out, again. Last weekend Dad started having chest pains and late Sunday night he drove himself to the hospital. He'd had a heart attack. He'd run out of one of his blood thinners (he's on 2 different ones, among other medications). He figured that since it was so close to the end of the month that it wouldn't be a big deal to go without it for a little bit since he was still taking one. Dad ended up in the hospital for a better part of a week, getting stabilized and having numerous tests to figure out what the problem is. They figured it out. All 4 of the grafts from his quad-bypass are terribly diseased. He needs surgery to repair them. However, due to the various medications he is on, his age and other problems, the risks are very high. The doctor said, "There is a very real risk that he wouldn't make it off the operating table".

They had planned the surgery for first thing yesterday morning. My dad was reluctant. He felt he was being rushed into a decision and things were moving way to fast. In addition, he had clients that he'd made appointments for and with. He had things at work and home that needed done. He also wanted some extra time to get his "affairs in order", just in case. So, the doctors agreed to see if medication alone would help things. They gave him a week. He is to be back at the doctor's office on Monday, Feb 8th to see if the medications are helping and to decide if the risks of the surgery do, indeed, outweigh the risks of not going ahead.

One is never ready to loose a parent or loved one. But, to me, it is especially difficult when your parent is still so full of life. Even with all of the challenges he has faced these last few years, he is still strong. He works full time on the clock and many more hours off the clock, helping his clients. He is still able to safely drive. He makes 2 or 3 trips a year to Oregon to see us, driving himself to Boise (over 250 miles, one way) and gets himself on a plane from there to Portland. He rides his motorcycle. He is 71, but he is not "old". I am not ready to let go. I still need him. My kids need him even more. There are so many people who love him and care about him, depend on him and need him around. If he were old and feeble and wasting away it would be so much easier to accept the fact that this risk is at our door. But when he has so much life and fire left in him, it doesn't even seem real that this is something I will have to consider so soon.

So, I will say my prayers as my mother taught me. "Be careful what you pray for", He always knows what is in your heart and what is best. Simply pray "Thy will be done. Give me the strength of heart to accept Your decision if it is a difficult one and the humility to always remember to give You praise. If things go well, never let me forget that it was also Your will and the glory belongs to You."

There has been a great heaviness in my heart and I don't anticipate it lightening any time soon. It has been good reminder, though, how precious and how fragile life is. I know it is cliche' but this trial has made it ever more clear; don't take a single day for granted. You never know which one will be your last.

I hope that my children and I are able to spend many more springs and summers, falls and winters with their grandfather (Popeye), my daddy. I pray that the Lord will give the doctors knowledge and skill along with the ability to make him well enough that we may enjoy much more time together.

Time and love...the greatest gifts we can give and an even greater gift to receive.

I love this crazy, tragic, ...

2010-01-23T10:39:00.000-08:00

...sometimes almost magic, awful, beautiful, life.

One of my many favorite lyrics from a song. I mean, there are many songs with many lyrics that are my favorite and this is one of them.

My husband is only a man, my children are just people, my father is merely human, my family is....well, you get the point. But, warts and all, I love them each for exactly who and what they are. Sometimes I don't always like them, but my heart is filled with love and I would, without hesitation, lay down my life for each and every one of them. I failed to mention in my previous blog just how wonderful and thoughtful my husband can be. During the Christmas holiday I was reminded of just why I fell in love with him and why I married him.

For Christmas, Darren's step-mom gave us each a little bit of cash. I guess it's just easier that way, rather than trying to guess what each adult child and their spouse may or may not want for a gift. Anyway, the house in which we now reside has been well lived in, to say the least. The carpet in the family room has an iron burn in the middle of it, the walls need painting, the flooring in the kitchen is cracked and stained, the window casing needs some serious TLC and so on. So, with my Christmas money, I decided to make an improvement to the kitchen.

A while before Christmas Darren and I were in Lowes getting some materials for his business. In the paint aisle I noticed several kinds of specialty paints. A few I had seen before; Rustoleum for outdoor furniture, appliance touch-up paints. But there were a couple that I'd never seen before; Stainless steel, magnetic and COUNTER TOP PAINT! They actually make a paint specifically for laminate counter tops! I said to myself, "Self, if I had some extra money I would SO buy some of that"!

Well, you'll never guess what I used my Christmas money for :) The counter top paint can be tinted in "16 different colors". When you look at the box top for the color options you'll notice that it's really only about 2 colors; various shades of tan and 2 options for blue; one that the picture showed as a blue/green color and the other that was a darker dusty blue color. I chose the darker blue. I was dismayed, however, when the gal mixed the paint and showed me the color. It was more of a grey color and in my opinion, not a very appealing color for my kitchen. I asked her if she could make it bluer. She got a puzzled look on her face and went to find someone else to help her. I didn't think adding more blue would require extra help, but then again, what do I know? (to be honest, I do have training in mixing paint, so I truly was confused at her need for extra help) A few minutes later a young man showed up and started adding more blue to the paint.

Here are some before and after pictures. I am quite pleased with how it all turned out.

Darren and I both masked everything off. Then I painted the first coat and he did the final one.

The work on the kitchen was done while the kids were in Idaho with their dad. I was in a mood that was far from pleasant. I had bought the paint and decided it would be a good distraction to go ahead and get to work. It ended up being more than simply masking off the area and painting. The sink had to be removed. When we did that, we found that there was some serious wood-rot happening. We also ended up having to change the supply lines. All of these things Darren graciously took care of for me. I could have done it myself, however, it would have taken much longer to accomplish and it certainly wouldn't have helped to improve my disposition at the time. I just wanted something nice and Darren helped me to have it.

So... back to the beginning. I have married a wonderful man, who is, after all, just a man... another favorite lyric...(modified for the purposes of this blog) "He's close enough to perfect, for me".

Oh, and by the way -- yes, this is my entire kitchen. I was standing against the refrigerator to get the picture of the left hand side of the sink and against the stove to get the right hand side.

The first week of January is almost over...

2010-01-07T18:58:00.000-08:00

...and so far I've done pretty good at not taking things too personally. I have been a bit more moody than usual. I mean, there's usually a couple days a month where the change in wind direction can bring me to tears, but that only lasts a day or two. For some reason, though, I just can't shake this melancholy. This is my first full year in Oregon. I've heard the rain and gloom can have that effect, so maybe that's the explanation.

I have a birthday card that I've had for several weeks but still haven't sent. I'm really struggling with the message to write in it. Sometimes finding the right words to say what's on my mind and getting the true sentiment across is difficult. I think, maybe, because I tend to take things too personally I worry that what I write will be taken offensively when it's not meant that way at all. I'm just not sure how to handle the situation.

I haven't been going to the gym. I thought my membership expired in November, so I quit going. I received a collection call tonight saying I was two months behind on my payments. I explained that I only had a one year membership and that it was over in November. The lady on the phone promptly told me, "No, no, no. You have a TWO year contract and can only cancel if you move 25 or more miles away and there are no other gyms nearby." DANG! So, now I have to pay for 2 months that I didn't even use. I am really not happy about that! But, I guess, now I don't have an excuse. I really did feel better when I was going regularly. However, I have this guilt issue that prevents me from going before 8pm. And to tell the truth, by that time of night all I really want to do is put up my feet and rest.

My day usually starts at about 6:30am. I get Patrick and Emi up and ready, breakfast and all, then drive them to school by 7:15. Then I do the same thing with Aaron and myself, getting him on the bus by 8:15am, then me to the office by 8:30. Work is a circus in itself. I'm off at around 4, then I pick Patrick up from wrestling practice and make my way home. I walk in the door and immediately start dinner. We eat between 5:30 and 6:30, depending on how long it takes to get dinner made and on the table. After that it is clean up and help the kids with any homework they didn't get done while I was making dinner. Then, in a flash, it seems, it is 7:30 and time to start getting ready for bed. Don't get me wrong, the kids are all old enough to get themselves ready, but it seems that bed time is the time that they remember to give me a note from school, have some important thing they need to talk about, or they just simply want to sit for a minute and have quite, cuddle time. The boys need to have their teeth checked before bed. Aaron, because I just like to make sure he does a good job. He tends to brush pretty fast and sometimes doesn't get all the "sugar bugs" off. Patrick, well, he has braces and an extremely tight bottom lip, so he has me check his teeth to make sure he got all the yuk off from around his braces. Oh, they joys of mother-hood and boys :D Anyway, the point is, I seem to be going non-stop from 6:30am - 8:00pm. Making myself change my clothes, get in the car and drive clear across town is a difficult task. However, I do know it is something I REALLY need to make myself do.

Speaking of being busy -- today is now the 15th of January. I started this blog more than a week ago...need I say more?

I found out what has been causing part of my moodiness. The problem seems to be correcting itself, but it is difficult to deal with, emotionally. At least it's not sending me to the emergency room this time.

Santa was pretty good to the kids. They didn't get much, but they each got the one gift that they really wanted. Patrick wanted a Nintendo DS. That is a gift that was WAY out of Santa's price range. However, Santa was able to find one at Game Stop for about half of the regular price. Emi said, "I want a karaoke machine, but I know I won't get one". Well, she did. And Aaron wanted his own video game. He got a hunting game. It is the kind that you plug into the TV and then it has a rifle that you shoot at the deer or whatever on the screen.

Aaron's birthday is in January. That is always nice because I can get him really cool gifts for about 75% off at the after-Christmas sales. This year he wanted a Nerf War party at home. We invited his cousins and a friend from church over. They all had Nerf guns and spent about 3 hours "shooting" each other inside and outside. The weather cooperated, so happily for me most of the war was outside. When I asked him what kind of cake he wanted, he said he wanted a Nerf Gun cake. I asked him to think of something else, since Patrick had a gun cake and they'd look almost exactly the same. He decided he wanted a cake that looked like a potato, since his nickname is "Spud". I made him a Mr. PotatoHead cake. Well, as close as I could, anyway. :)

Work has been a challenge. But I think that comes with the territory when you are working for family. I am very thankful and grateful for my job. But, it's a bit depressing to have spent so much time in school, spent so much money, and not be able to get a job that uses my education. It's also frustrating to not be able to make enough to even begin paying on my student loans. But, I refuse to let it bother me too much. It seems like things always work themselves out, by the grace of God. He hasn't let me down yet! :) Darren's business is doing well - it is self-supporting, which is a HUGE blessing in this economy!

So, now the second week of January is over. I had a huge mess-up at work, but it was caught and fixed and I learned a big lesson. I have been given more responsibilities, broadening my knowledge of the business and giving me more hours, or at least, more to do during the hours I am there. I finally have health insurance and should be able to get the kids covered, too, in the next month or so. My ex is being granted his reduction in child support - the only one benefiting from that is him, of course. But, in order to just get it over with, I'm not going to argue about it. The kids will just have to understand that they won't get to do as much as they had been able to do.

I am preparing myself for February. It promises to be a difficult month. February is the anniversary of both my mother's birth and her death. We are hoping for my dad to fly over and go fishing again, like we did last year. It was a really nice time and made it a much more pleasant way to celebrate her life and memory. Money will be the only thing preventing it this year, so I plan to get my taxes done right away and hope for a big return. Ha ha ha!

I think I found a home for our "new" dog. She is more dog than we can take care of with me working full time and Darren spending so much time in the shop. We just don't have enough time for all of her energy. She's also tried to take a bite out of Josh's chickens. He wasn't too happy about that! So, I think, for now, we'll just stick with our 1 dog and 1 cat.

That's about it. We lead pretty dull lives, as you can tell. I'm sure there is more, if I thought really hard about it. Like, our dog got hit by a car and, honestly, should be dead. But, after spending WAY more money than I had, we found out she only had severely torn ligaments in her leg and will probably limp for the rest of her life. I think she's part cat, really, you know, 9 lives and all. Since this is getting long winded and I'm sure you all have better things to do with your life, I'm going to end here.

Goodbye Christmas. Welcome 2010

2009-12-29T22:44:00.000-08:00

Christmas is over. This year, like several recently, I am glad. As one of my friends wrote so very well, Christmas is a bitter-sweet holiday for many. Some more bitter than others. But, as she said, I am not unique in having empty places set at the table.

This year my children had to spend the entire Christmas break with their dad. Since my children weren't here, my dad, nephew, niece and almost-nephew-in-law :o) stayed in Idaho. So, for Christmas day it was just Darren and me. I know I should be grateful and thankful that I have my children the majority of the year and I get them for Christmas day every other year. I am a fortunate divorced parent. There are many others, my husband included, who don’t ever get to see their children for any holiday, because even though custody orders say that the children are to visit on a certain schedule, the person with the primary custody refuses to put the child(ren) on a plane or bus or whatever. So – the bitter is that my children weren’t home for Christmas this year, the sweet is that they will be back home soon and we'll have Christmas then and we'll have it together on Christmas day next year. For Darren, the bitter is that he did not hear from any of his children. The sweet is that he enjoyed spending time with his brothers and family on Christmas eve.

As the holiday season approached I realized that this would be the 6^th Christmas that I had to celebrate without my mama. She was so much more than a mom to me. For better or worse, much of my life revolved around her, so when I lost her, I lost a pretty big part of myself, too. It is also been about 8 years since the holidays were celebrated as a complete family. My brother and sister (in-law) divorced, my younger brother and his family moved away. The same year that my mom died, my sister (in-law) died as well. We went from celebrating with 20 or more squeezed in all around the table (we've never been a “kids' table” kind of family) down to 8 or 9 on a “good year”. That has been so hard to get used to. Very bitter, indeed. But, as I said at the beginning, I am not the only one missing a parent this year. For Darren and his brothers this is the 2^nd Christmas without their mother.

Losing a parent is something we accept as we grow into adulthood, but not something we expect so soon. Both Darren’s mom and mine passed away just a year or two after turning 60. I was only 34 years old when my mom died and Renae’s sons were approximately 36-42 years old when they lost her. Darren and I both still have our fathers, which is a mixed blessing. I say “mixed” because my dad lives about 700 miles away, so we don't get to see each other very often. I do try to fly him to see us a few times a year and of course, I see him when I take the kids to Idaho. We also talk on the phone several times a week. I was able to fly him here for Thanksgiving and Patrick's birthday this year and I am hoping he can come again in February. But there are always a lot of tears when the time comes to return home. Although Darren’s dad lives just an hour away, he doesn’t get to see his dad much more than I see mine and they don't talk on the phone very often, either.

So, now a new year is once again on the horizon. I look forward to it with hopeful expectation. A year, fresh and new. A blank slate on which to write anything I choose. Some things will be written for me, things that are beyond my control. But it will be for me to choose how I react to those things. The rest I will write for myself. These will also be my choice. Will I choose to look at each experience as something I can learn and grow from? Will I choose to take too much too personally as I have done nearly all my life? Or will I choose to look at it in a more positive light? Will I write the good things in LARGE print and the not so good in a much smaller typeface? Will I write in BOLD, HAPPY COLORS or in simple black and white?

I'm not sure what all 2010 has in store, but I do know some of what the new year will bring; I will gain a new nephew when my niece marries, and a baby will be added to our family tree. These are two events that will bring many smiles and happy tears. I am choosing to only think of the joy these events will bring and not the sadness that the geographical distance holds. We will have a new baby, that is still close enough for me to love and spoil and watch grow. A baby that I will hold and cuddle. My very first “Grandbaby-ish”. And for all of the not-so-happy emotions that are clumped up in my heart; the grief that my mother will miss the birth of her first granddaughters' first child, and my sister will not watch her firstborn daughter have her firstborn child. Rather than feel the sadness for my niece and myself that these two most important women will be absent, I will choose to focus on the joy that will fill my heart when I get to witness this magic, standing by her side. And the gladness that will fill my father's heart when he welcomes his great-grandchild to the world is a treasure to witness in itself.

As this year comes to a close and a new year begins, I will resolve to look towards all of the gloriousness this life gives. I will welcome each new challenge and face it head-on with the courage and faith. I will honor the memory of my mom and my sister by doing all I can to be the woman, daughter, sister, mother and wife they taught me so well to be. No longer will I so willingly give in to feelings of inferiority, and self-consciousness. I will stand up for myself, my children, my family, my beliefs.

I will be strong!

Thankful

2009-11-29T19:39:00.000-08:00

Since Patrick's birthday party I have had even more to be thankful for.

1) I had a really great time with the boys at Patrick's "friends party". Patrick had a great time with his cousins and made a new friend in the Pastor's son. It was really nice to see how much my son has grown and changed in these all-too-short 13 years.

2) Darren was able to find a dentist to extract his broken, icky tooth that has been troubling him for quite some time AND did not cost an arm and a leg, as well :) Darren's teeth are not that good and he's needed some dental work for awhile. We haven't had any kind of insurance to cover the cost. He had one tooth that was really bad. It's been causing him pain and he's been suffering through. Finally it got too much and he also wanted to be able to enjoy Thanksgiving dinner. He found a dentist that would be able to schedule him in the week before Thanksgiving, so he made the appointment and got it done. He has been much more pleasant since then ;o)

3) My nephew, niece & her boyfriend safely made the trip from southern Idaho to our home and were able to spend the week with us. They thought they wouldn't be able to come until Wednesday and they planned to stay through the weekend. Then her boyfriend ended up being scheduled to work over the weekend. So, they thought they'd have to cancel -- it's too far to drive to only be able to stay for 2 days. We talked about it and they were able to change things around to come at the beginning of the week.

The kids were SO excited to see them come through the door. Even our old dog, Holi, was happy to see them. She came over and pushed up against them, whining and begging to be pet. It was really quite cute.

4) My daddy had a safe drive to Boise and a safe flight into Portland to spend Patrick's birthday & holiday with us. This was the big birthday present for Patrick. I had kept the secret from him, so he had no idea Grampa was coming.

I had told Patrick that I had to go to Portland to pick up Darren's aunt & uncle. Since he didn't have school that day & it was his birthday, I asked him if he'd like to ride along, that we could stop and get breakfast and spend some time together for his birthday.

We got a late start (on purpose) so didn't stop for breakfast on the way. I told him we'd grab something small after we picked up Kim & Karl, then go out to breakfast afterwords. About the time the plane was to land Patrick and I headed back to the car (I'd parked in the short term parking so I could pick up something I'd seen previously at the gift shop) When we got in the car the phone rang. It was my dad saying he was at the pick-up area. Patrick overheard the call and said he thought it was grampa because he'd heard grampa say "See you in a minute baby". I said, "No, it was Karl and he'd said 'See you in a minute, Kate'" Then I started the waterworks and said how sad I was to not be able to spend the holidays with my dad and so on. It really got to Patrick and he gave me a hug and said he was sorry. So we went to the pick-up area and dad wasn't there. I got out of the car and called him. He was at the departure doors, I was below at the arrival doors. He said he'd take the elevator and be right down. So I got back in the car and told Patrick to watch one set of doors and I'd watch the other. Next thing I know, Patrick says, "Hey mom, there's a guy that looks like grampa!" I said, "No way! Where?" He then says, "Right there! Oh!!! It is Grampa!" and he jumped out of the car and ran over and gave grampa a HUGE hug! It was such a perfect surprise!

Later that night we had cake & icecream. I'll have to post pictures of the cake. It turned out pretty cool if I do say so myself! :) Patrick got a Bible, paintball gun with paintballs and accessories, a bag of frozen peas (an inside joke), a new suit, and a pass for snowboarding.

5) I was able to get some extra time off of work to spend with my family. What more can I say? Although I was technically off, I am on call 24 hours. I received a phone call while we were at the mall. It was someone requesting some work. I bid the job and got it! Another work related thing to be thankful for!

6) My niece is planning on getting married next winter. We found all of the dresses and were able to put the wedding gown on layaway. She tried it on and looked absolutely beautiful!

7) My family that came to visit all made it back to southern Idaho safely. A HUGE thanks for that!

8) Our old dog got hit by a car this afternoon. The guy that hit her stopped and said how sorry he was and that he couldn't believe he hadn't killed her. I had to take her to the emergency vet clinic- she was clearly hurt. It turns out that she has no internal injuries, however, her ankle joint is completely shattered - a compound fracture and there are abrasions to her skin. They bandaged her up and we were able to bring her home. I am thankful she is still alive (we've had her for 8 years) and I am thankful that I had a credit card to put the charges on (there's no other way I'd have been able to pay the $400+ cost or the costs we will incur). There will be further costs tomorrow when we take her to the regular vet to have her ankle actually looked at and decide how to proceed with treatment.

9) I am thankful, also, for my faith so that I don't have to cause myself unneeded worry about where the money is going to come from to pay the credit card bill (or the heat bill, electric bill, groceries and other bills). I will put my trust in my God that things will somehow work out and that the money will come for me to be able to pay for it all.

There are so many things we could be sad, angry or upset about. Parents who weren't as perfect as we thought they should be, the painful childhood, friends who didn't support us as we believe we'd have supported them, family who disappointed or let us down, jobs we lost, the spouse that broke our heart. So many things to be unhappy about. However, there are so many more things to be thankful for; parents who we can love in spite of their faults because that's how they love us, the pain that made us strong, friends who do the best they can because, really, what more can we ask for? Family who is as diverse and as normal as the rest of the people in this crazy world but love us just as we are, warts and all because we are all part of a family. Jobs we didn't get and jobs we did, the heart that learned to love by being unloved -- so very, very, very many more things, - the sun that warms us, the rain that gives us water, the snow that blankets the buried seeds, the wind that spreads the scents of nature... The amazing and wonderful God that created it all in perfection.

Happy to you!

2009-11-22T18:08:00.000-08:00

Friday Patrick had 3 of his cousins and a friend from church come over to celebrate his birthday. I took 5 of the 6 boys (Patrick, Aaron, Loren, Morgan & Chris ) to Bullwinkle's in Wilsonville. Corin, the 6th boy, met us there. I bought the "All-Night-Birthday Party-Bash, which includes a 1-hour all-you-can-eat pizza & soft drinks, and unlimited go-karts, laser tag, bumper boats and mini-golf.

I was a bit concerned - one adult among 6 boys, but it turned out really good. I smiled so much watching those boys enjoy themselves, my face still hurt the next day. Aaron was a bit short for the go-karts, so I asked if they'd let me drive for him. The guys working there were really nice and let me, even though I hadn't bought tickets for myself. Aaron really enjoyed it and so did I. I had never driven a go-kart before. It was raining almost the whole night and the activities, with the exception of the laser tag, were all outside. Thankfully it wasn't a heavy rain and not too terribly cold. When it was our turn for the go-karts, I gave my coat to one of the boys who didn't have one. I was wearing a vest, too, so only my arms got cold, which was ok. With the rain on the track it made the driving even more exciting; lots of skidding/sliding around corners and all. Mini-golf ended up with a few extra "water hazards" which were fun to watch the boys play through. Watching them on the bumper boats was fun, too, but the boats didn't go very fast so they got bored with that pretty quickly.

Near the end of the night the boys decided they wanted to play some of the arcade games that they had there. So, I bought a bunch of tokens and off they went again!

It was a really nice night for me, seeing my "baby" as a more mature young man. Patrick had fun with his cousins and made a good friend in Corin. The age range of boys was essentially 8, 10, 12, 13 & 14, but they all played and had a fun time together. Even the ride home was pleasant.

Patrick's birthday isn't until Tuesday. I still can't believe it's been 13 years ago that my mom and I were walking and walking all around old-town Pocatello during the Cottages & Cranberries celebration hoping to get my labor started. So much has happened and changed since then. It doesn't seem that long ago, and yet, sometimes it seems a lifetime. I thank God every day for my precious son...who not only changed my life, but saved it.

Time sure flies...

2009-11-15T16:17:00.000-08:00

...when you have 3 kids! ha ha

I've been away for awhile, as you well know. So, here is a quick update.

Darren's business is going well. He has lots of orders and is very, very busy trying to fill them. It's a bit of a challenge when he has to wait on others for some of the parts, but overall he's been able to keep his customers happy. I don't know if I mentioned it before, but he was featured in a national magazine. They gave him a 3-full page write up! Recently he was offered an opportunity to go somewhere down south to be on a sportsman TV show. They are thinking the taping will be sometime in the spring. That is REALLY exciting! He's been having problems getting one of his machines up and running. I guess the manufacturer figured if someone bought the machine they'd already know how to work all the bells and whistles. Anyway, he finally found the complete tutorial and is just about ready to start production with it. That will save a lot of time and money - being able to make more of our own parts.

The kids...Patrick is in band. He's still playing the trumpet in Symphonic and Jazz band and is learning the alto saxophone in Cadet band. He is singing in the church choir with the Rejoice singers. He also started shooting at the local Jr. Rifle Club -- Precision Target Shooting. He's not sure if he likes it yet. It is a lot of technical stuff and not as easy as you'd think. I am pretty sure he will really enjoy it once he gets used to the different style of shooting. Then it will be more fun and he'll be able to go to tournaments all over the north west. He really is quite good.

Em is also in band. She is learning the French Horn in the 5th grade band. She sings in the school choir. She is doing really well in school. Em has also decided she wants to be a girl. She used to be a real home-body; rarely wanting to go much of anywhere and never wanting to go shopping. Now, she actually ASKS to go shopping and I am the one saying, "Are you ready to go home YET?"

Aaron, well, what can I say. He's almost 8 years old. I can't believe it. He isn't doing anything extra-curricular yet. He enjoys playing with his hot wheels and so far, he still likes to snuggle with me on the couch. Although, he has to make sure to give me a kiss BEFORE the bus comes into sight. He cannot have the bus driver see him give me a hug or kiss!

Me. Well, I did get a job. It's not what I want to do forever, but it is a good learning opportunity. And I am very thankful for it. I still get the flexibility I need for the kids, like being able to call in when they are sick, without having it go against me. I'm not too sure it will get my student loans paid off, I may still have to look for something better when they come due again, but for now, it's pretty good. There are some other pretty stressful things going on, but I try not to worry about it too much. Worrying doesn't solve anything and it just makes you and everyone around you miserable, too, so...I just keep my faith and pray about it and remain confident that things will work out just the way they should, when they should. I'm still going to the gym, not as much as I should, but some is better than none. I have a hard time finding time, and I don't like going alone, but whenever I do go, I feel MUCH better.

I've started some holiday shopping. One set of gifts I have to get into the mail this week. I'm not sure if I'll be doing any more gift-shipping in the future. It depends on how this one goes. For my other out-of-town stuff, my niece and dad are coming for Thanksgiving. I'm not sure if I'll send their gifts home with them, or send them with the kids when they go to their dad's for Christmas break. I won't get to spend any of the Christmas holiday with them this year. They get out of school on a Friday afternoon and have to be on a plane first thing Saturday morning. Then they don't come home until Sunday - with school resuming Monday. I wish I could be like other parents and just refuse to put them on the plane...keep the kids to myself where I know they are safe and happy. But, they are his kids, too, and as much as I hate to see them go, it's only for a few days...So I put on my happy face and tell them we'll have Christmas when they get home. That Santa won't forget them and their gifts will be waiting.

We have a new dog. Darren's dog, Jenny, died last year. He was finally ready to have a new dog, so... She's a black lab mix. They say she's about 7 or 8 months old. Her name was Ellie - but we call her Spaz! She is w.i.l.d.!! Previous owners never taught her any manners. She knows "sit" and that's about it. She tries to jump up on you, which is really bad with kids. She's hurt Aaron a couple of times, bowling him over. She doesn't stay for long and doesn't come to her name. We've had her a couple of weeks and she is getting much better, but definitely will take a LOT more work! She is really smart, though, and really wants to please, so I am hopeful.

So, that's about it, I suppose. We live a pretty dull life. I guess that's better than always being on the run and not having time to catch your breath. I really can't complain. Well...I guess I could, but honestly, what good would it do? :D

Until next time...

How did we ever...

2009-09-21T19:50:00.000-07:00

... live without cell phones?

Well, me, myself, I can take it or leave it. Mostly. I still have a land-line. I'm not ready for that break up. I do like my cell phone. It is certainly a convenience. But...

... Before cell phones I knew ALL of my family and friends' phone numbers. By heart. Now, well, not so much. Normally that wouldn't be such a big deal, but today my phone died. Completely. I had about 30 or so WONDERFUL pictures on it, and, of course, my entire phone book, complete with e-mail addresses, fax, cell and land-line numbers. Now they are gone. All gone.

I should have expected it. You know, with Murphy's Law and all. I've been getting messages from Verizon for months telling me that it was time for my "New every two" upgrade. I've been ignoring it because I was happy with my pretty pink razor with the pretty pink car charger, and pretty pink carry case purse looking thing and pretty pink cover all to match. Like the saying goes, "If it 'ain't broke, don't fix it." Well, now it's broke and I can't fix it, either.

Now I have a maroon LG something-or-other with way too many bells and whistles. I mean, what ever happened to a phone just simply being a phone? It has a camera, mp3 capability (whatever in the world that means), and a qwerty key board. Like I ever text. I much prefer to actually talk to live people and I really don't even like it when people text me. Call me, let me hear your voice, stop by and visit, let me see your face. I like things up-close-and-personal. Just like in those much famed good-ol'-days! I am most certainly an "old school" kind of girl, as I think I'd mentioned in a previous blog. :)

The point is, I suppose, if you are reading this and you'd like me to call you sometime, you're gonna' have to send me a message or give me a call.

I've kept my number, but baby, I ain't got yours.

On my way...

2009-09-09T09:49:00.000-07:00

...to my old self. I'm not going to say how much I weigh, but it is a LOT more than I want. I found out after my mom died that I tend to eat under stress. Don't get me wrong, I had started gaining weight before that, during the last couple of years of my marriage. I wasn't happy. I didn't know how to fix it.

Anyway, one weekend while the kids were gone, I was sitting on the couch watching a movie feeling sorry for myself. I was in the middle of a nasty divorce, my mother was gone, my sister was gone, my kids were with their dad, I was all alone, had no job, bills to pay and was 20+ miles away from anything even resembling a friend or family and I was F.A.T. ! Could my life really be any worse? yep - my own personal pity party!

I had already eaten dinner. I was sitting on the couch in the stereotypical scene; sweatpants, baggy shirt, pony tail and HUGE bowl of ice cream. I felt physically full, but I was so hungry. As I shoveled a spoonful of chocolate covered ice cream in my mouth, I realized, "I am so full, I'm going to be sick!" and I took another bite. Just then, it was like a giant 2x4 hit me across the head. It was at that moment I realized what I was doing. A couple of weeks later I was talking to my aunt on the phone about it and she said, "Yep, I know. Your mom told me that with her death you'd either turn into a skeleton or blow up like a balloon. She was worried about you." Well, balloon it is! ( I wish it had been skeleton!)

That realization helped a little. At least it made me more aware. But over the course of the next year or so, with all the stresses going on, including my dad's near fatal heart attack, quadruple heart bypass surgery, other health problems and the dragging divorce, I still continued to gain weight.

So, the point is this. Late last winter I joined a gym. I've been working out, at first regularly, then not so much with summer and all, but still more than before. Now that the kids are back in school and things here are settling into a routine again, my gym routine can begin again, too. I'm also on a diet. So far I've gotten rid of (not "lost", I don't want my brain thinking I need to "find" it again *wink*wink*) over 20 pounds. At this rate, by Christmas I will be back to my old, younger, self. I am really excited about that.

I have to admit - the diet sucks! I don't like it. But, I am down nearly 2 pants sizes, and that part I LOVE! So, for those of you who have seen some of my pictures (there are very few)- just wait until Christmas. I'll actually be happy to have my picture taken :)

In the past 12 months...

2009-09-06T21:44:00.000-07:00

...I have read a lot of books. When I first came to Oregon in late July we were staying at Darren's dad's house in Portland. I didn't want to be in the way, so I stayed in the basement and tried to not be a burden. We didn't have TV reception but we did have a tiny TV and Darren's X-box that we could use for a DVD player. Then when we moved to Salem last August we had no real TV reception. Darren was driving to Portland every day for work and I was hanging out in a one-room loft while we were waiting for the house we were moving into to be ready. During those few weeks (in Portland & Salem) I was getting burned out on movies (we watched them almost every night when Darren got home), so I read. Then, at Christmas, Darren bought me some more books.

When the kids aren't here I can plow through books, reading a novel in just 2 or 3 days, at most. I get bored with no friends or family here so I don't really know what to do with myself when they aren't around. When they are home, I still read, but usually only at bed time. Then, it takes me about a week or so.

Just for fun, here are the books I've read since Mid-July, 2008; in no particular order:
( I have probably read more, but these are the ones I can remember)

By Sherrie Lord
2 Christian Romance Novels

They were very easy and fun to read and can be found online at:

http://www.sherrielord.com

By Anita Diamant
Biblical Historical Fiction

I read this book over Christmas Break, while my kids were in Idaho visiting their dad. It was a little slow in the beginning, while they were laying down the foundation, but over all, I enjoyed it.

I left it at my aunt & uncle's house out at the coast. I hope she doesn't give it away. It's one that I would like to read again.

By Nicholas Sparks
(I read all of these books during the 3 weeks I was in Idaho at the end of June - I also watched a couple of the movies while I was in Idaho -- as usual, the books were MUCH better.)

At First Sight

Message in a Bottle

Dear John

The Choice

The Lucky One

The Notebook

The Wedding

By Robin Cook

Harmful Intent

By Janet Evanovich

One For the Money

This one Darren bought for me. He said he'd read it a long, long time ago. He thought I might like it...

By Peter Straub

Mystery

The rest of the books I've read have all been by Dean Koontz. I won't bother with covers because there have been too many. So, I will just list them.

Fear Nothing
The Darkest Evening of the year
The Good Guy
Brother Odd
Twilight Eyes
Shadow Fires
Tick Tock
Forever Odd
The Funhouse
Hideaway
Odd Hours
Phantoms
Demon Seed
Watchers
Darkfall
The Husband
By the Light of the Moon
The Eyes of Darkness
The Face of Fear

How many more can I read by Christmas? Hhhmmmm..... :0)

Feeling Sentimental

2009-09-04T22:40:00.001-07:00

Mama, Daddy, Denise (my sister), me, Kevin (my younger brother), my nephew Johnny (in front of my dad), my nephew Michael ( in front of me)

I've been really missing my mom lately. She was such a huge part of my life. She was more than just my mom. We really did almost everything together. From paying bills, to grocery shopping, to yard work, house work, painting, wall papering, road trips, just about everything. When the fair came to town we'd go every single day!

I don't have many pictures of her with me, here in Oregon. Most of them are still in storage. But here are a few...

This is, of course, my parents and me - February 1998

My mom - she and I had gone to Jackson for a weekend - just the 2 of us. I'm thinking it was taken around 2000. I'm in the picture, too - but... well, let's just say it isn't too flattering :o)

This picture was taken just a couple of months before she died...
I really wanted a "Generation" picture. I am so happy she agreed. She was in a terrible amount of pain but took the time to do this for me. As usual, she put the desires of her children ahead of herself. She was an amazing woman. If I am able to become even half of what she was I will have accomplished a lot.

I miss her so much...

Random Thoughts

2009-08-25T08:22:00.000-07:00

It is funny how different people bring out different things in each other. For example, I have an uncle who used to be pretty mean to his first wife. From what I have heard, he used to yell at her, say mean things to her, threaten her and even, on occasion, he would hit her. His second wife, well, he knew she wouldn't put up with his nonsense and he never even raised his voice to her, let alone, a hand.

I see things like this in my own family. Some family members get along just fine, others, well, they are over sensitive to certain people whom others just take with a grain of salt or simply just ignore, understanding where the offending person is coming from. I see it in friends, acquaintances and co-workers.

My ex, whom, obviously I cared for at one time, brings out the very worst in me. Especially when he pulls stunts like he's done this August. He brings out a side of me that even I do not like. I hate how he is able to push my buttons. I am better at controlling myself and how I respond to him, but I still feel the yucky tension vibrating inside me. The old saying in so many Westerns, "This town ain't big enough for the two of us" really applies with he and me.

The other day I made a comment to my nephew intended to support him, and he mis-understood and took it as a personal attack. I know he is sensitive and should have kept my mouth shut. The situation, however, brought out the protective part of me - and the defensive part of him. Not a good combination.

My husband is not perfect. To be honest, I want to give him a "boot to the head" sometimes. (a reference to an old radio program - Dr. Demento ;0) ) But, overall, he is great! He has his faults and I'll be the first to admit it, but, don't we all?

This summer has been so hard for me. The last time I saw my 2 youngest children was July 3rd and my oldest, July 12. I have never been away from my kids for that long and it was probably one of the most difficult things I have ever done. Darren was so good to me over these months without my kids. I have been moody, grouchy, and very sad and depressed. He has been so sweet. For the most part he knew when to leave me alone and when to hold me close. He didn't criticize me even one time when I would have days where I simply laid around the house and did nothing and let dishes and laundry pile up. He helped with the cooking when I couldn't bring myself to do it. For my birthday, he even made an effort to fix the dishwasher that came with our house. When it looked to be more trouble than it was worth, he bought us a re-manufactured one (money has been VERY tight this summer) to help make things easier for me. Not the most romantic gift, but certainly a very thoughtful one and something I actually wanted.

My niece got me the sweetest gifts. I'll have to take a picture and post them. For Mother's Day she bought me a book - one that I will write. It is one about my own life where I fill in the blanks. It made me cry. For my birthday she gave me a plate with the Lord's Prayer and a really, really fun and cute Dr. Sues notebook. It has notes that you tear out and give to others all written in the style of Dr. Sues. I LOVE it! It is SO much fun. She doesn't get along with everyone. She's kind of spoiled. (Yes, I've even said it to her face) But she is the sweetest girl to me and I don't know what I'd do without her. She is a lifesaver.

Today I am wrapping things up in Idaho. The kids and I will be heading back to Oregon first thing tomorrow morning. We'll be stopping in Sumpter and camping with Darren, his dad, his brothers and nephews. Emi and I will only stay for one day. Then we'll leave the boys to their boy-time, hunting and camping for a week or so and she and I will enjoy some girl-time.

I am so happy to have my kids back. I know they have to spend time with their dad, and I won't deny him that. But I am much happier when they are home with me. My children bring out what is best in me. My husband makes me want to be better than I am. My wonderful niece and father bring out the good in me. These I will focus on. I will do all I can to learn to let the good come out when I have to interact with those who try to make me less than I am.

Fingerprints and miracles

2009-08-16T12:26:00.000-07:00

I believe in many things. Some silly, some serious and some, well, it's just "the world according to me". I believe in Santa Claus. Not a fat man in a red suit with flying reindeer, but who and what he is supposed to represent. I have witnessed Santa Claus in my own life. I believe in trusting people until they give me a reason not to. I believe in good manners. I believe in family. I believe in unconditional love and acceptance. I believe in honesty. I believe in ghosts. I believe in angels. I believe in spirits, both good and bad. I believe in the rights of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. I believe in the right for all American Citizens to bear arms - any that they choose. I believe in life, for the young, the old, the unborn and everyone in between. I believe in God. I believe in Miracles.

Over this past week I have seen the work of God in our lives. I don't think that He has to do some great feat to show He exists. It's the little everyday fingerprints that, if we pay attention, we can know He is there. Flowers blooming, berries becoming ripe, the death of nature in the winter and the rebirth in the spring. He is all around us. Everyday. I believe that He gives us miracles all the time. Not always in big ways, but in timing things to work out at just the right minute, when there was no foresight of the solution.

The parting of the Red Sea, for example, has been explained by scientists as a natural occurring phenomenon. The miracle wasn't so much the parting of the Sea, but the timing of it. It parted as it was needed and it flowed freely again at just the right moment.

This past week we have seen some miracles of our own. The school I worked for closed down. The part-time wages I had been expecting to be able to earn over the summer were gone. My ex did not send his child support on time. (He is asking for a reduction effective in August and apparently was waiting for me to default on the request and have it granted). I had applied for unemployment but had been denied pending investigation. (When you work for a school, one cannot collect unemployment over the summer months). So, we were left with a dilemma. One - no money to pay rent. Two - no money for me to be able to pick my kids up from Idaho. Three - no gas in the car. Four - no money for groceries. Five - the dog was out of food, too.

Here are our miracles. (1) Darren had put some things for sale. He received one call and one call only. He made exactly enough to pay the rent. (2) Although my ex did not send the full amount of support (I guess he is granting the request himself, as I did not default and the court has not yet approved the reduction), he did send half, which bought our groceries, dog food and other necessities. (3) I was approved for unemployment benefits (since the school is permanently closed) so I now have sufficient gas money to go get my kids.

These may not seem like miracles to everyone. But, to me, they are. The timing of Darren putting the items up for sale. He could have done it long ago, or not yet. But he had the desire to do it at just the right time, when we needed it. And they sold immediately. Had he put them up at a different time, there may not have been anyone in the market or willing to pay the same price. I filed for unemployment benefits the first part of July. Because of the cutbacks in the school districts, there are many school workers applying for benefits. I was told it could take 60 - 90 days to be approved. The approval came through exactly when I needed it to as did the posting of my child support.

Miracles don't have to be huge answers to prayer; people rising from the dead, cancer tumors disappearing, winning the lottery. I believe they come in everyday fingerprints. Perfect timing in our hour of need. Nothing special or dramatic, just a simple post mark on the right day, at the right place at the right time. Just enough to let us know He is still there. He IS listening. And He will always take care of us. Just as a human parent would help their grown children. He doesn't give us all that we desire. He gives us what we need to glorify Him.

The miracle isn't always in the gift, but in the timing.

It was 1980-something

2009-08-15T21:31:00.000-07:00

when the 4 of us met. It was our first year out of elementary school. We were in the 7th grade at Mt. View Jr. High School.

Over the years we moved around. 1987 found us graduating; one from John R. Rogers High School, one from Deer Park High School and the other two from East Valley High School. Two of us went to Spokane Falls College together for a little over a year, then one moved away, then the other. By 2000 something the four of us had not heard from one or another in a few years. There were boyfriends, marriages, babies and breakups over time. We all grew up and created our lives, some found a path and stayed on it, some changed paths and yet another is still looking to find the way.

Then, one day the stars all aligned perfectly and the 4 of us were able to be in the same place at the same time. So, on July 26, 2009, we all got together and had a slumber-birthday party. We had such a fantastic time!

It is such a tremendous blessing to still be such close friends with the girls I met when I was 12 years old. All 3 of them are a blessing in my life. I am proud to know them and even more proud to call them friends!

Here's to us - Mt. View Jr. High School Lancers - Class of 1984!

Is it just bad manners...

2009-08-15T21:12:00.000-07:00

or maybe some people just don't know any better.

Now, let me begin with the fact that I am not the most dependable "Thank you" card writer. I usually buy the cards, start them, get distracted and neglect to finish them, or if I do finish, forget to mail them. Then, several months later it just seems like it is too late, so they just sit in the box waiting for me to find them again and be overcome with shame at not ever sending them.

Not to excuse this impolite behavior, but I must add that, although I don't always get the cards sent out, I do make a point, right away, to either thank the person face to face when I receive the gift or make a phone call and let them know it arrived and I appreciate it. I'm not always perfect at cards, but I do my best to always say thank you in some form.

I believe that it is only good manners and common courtesy to say "please", "thank you", "excuse me" and so on. When you receive a gift a phone call, e-mail, card or something to send your thanks is also, to me, a common courtesy. When a gift is sent in the mail, especially across several States it seems that it would be a polite thing to let the person know you did receive the package, no matter how insignificant the gift may be.

I also feel that if a person sends you a gift and you don't want it, or anything else they might send you, that it would be a polite thing to say "Thanks but no thanks. I don't want anything from you." At least that way the sender would know that the efforts are wasted and would be better spent on others who appreciate knowing they are thought of, cared for, and loved.

So, is one to think it is merely bad manners when an acknowledgement is not made? Or maybe they are not yet mature enough to realize the sincere thought and effort put into choosing "just the right thing"? Or, is it that they are just not adult enough to say "Thanks, but no thanks"?

I would like to think that when people neglect to say "thank you" that it is truly only bad manners or an oversight. Because I know, at least for myself, that when a gift is given, it comes from the heart. Not from obligation or guilt, but because someone wants to let someone else know that they are cared for, no matter what.

The Thank You Campaign

2009-08-01T09:27:00.000-07:00

I'm not sure how to post video on here, so I'll just paste in the link.

As I am sure you can tell from previous posts, I am a proud American and supporter of our troops. My father and son are members of the Idaho POW/MIA organization and I participate regularly. I have a POW/MIA Soldiers bracelet which I wear faithfully. I believe it takes a strong man* to fight for our country and even stronger families to stay behind and support them. They all deserve our thanks. Here is one way to show it...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MSfFYxSdKdo

*used in the "mankind" sense. They know who they are. Being "politically correct" is kinda' silly if you ask me...

Something to think about

2009-07-17T17:26:00.000-07:00

As you can see, I haven't posted all the fun I had in Idaho yet. I will get to that pretty soon. First, though, I would like to post an e-mail I received. I don't know if the origins are true or not, but I believe in the sentiment. It is about Michael Jackson's death.

I will get on my soapbox briefly before I paste in the e-mail. I just want to say how unfair (yes, I know life isn't fair) it is that several "famous" people died around the same time as Michael Jackson and yet were hardly noticed in the media. Farrah Fawcett, Ed McMahon, Billy Mays and I am sure others whom I have forgotten - all died in the same week and were well-known household names. Yet, their passing were barely mentioned amid all the hoopla surrounding one man. It makes me sick, especially after reading the following e-mail.

Who should our hero be? Someone who entertained us or someone who never met any of us, yet laid their life down to protect us?

read on... - copied exactly from an e-mail...

" THIS WAS WRITTEN BY A SOLDIER IN IRAQ.

Okay, I need to rant.

I was just watching the news, and I caught part of a report on Michael

Jackson . As we all know, Jackson died the other day. He was an

entertainer who performed for decades. He made millions, he spent

millions, and he did a lot of things that make him a villian to many

people. I understand that his death would affect a lot of people, and

I respect those people who mourn his death, but that isn't the point

of my rant.

Why is it that when ONE man dies, the whole of America loses their

minds with grief. When a man dies whose only contribution to the

country was to ENTERTAIN people, the Amercian people find the need to

flock to a memorial in Hollywood , and even Congress sees the need to

hold a "moment of silence" for his passing?

Am I missing something here? ONE man dies, and all of a sudden he's a

freaking martyr because he entertained us for a few decades? What

about all those SOLDIERS who have died to give us freedom? All those

Soldiers who, knowing that they would be asked to fight in a war,

still raised their hands and swore to defend the Constitution and the

United States of America . Where is there moment of silence? Where

are the people flocking to their graves or memorials and mourning over

them because they made the ultimate sacrifice? Why is it when a

Soldier dies, there are more people saying "good ridence," and "thank

God for IEDs?" When did this country become so calloused to the

sacrifice of GOOD MEN and WOMEN, that they can arbitrarily blow off

thier deaths, and instead, throw themselves into mourning for a "Pop

Icon?"

I think that if they are going to hold a moment of silence IN CONGRESS

for Michael Jackson, they need to hold a moment of silence for every

service member killed in Iraq and Afghanistan .. They need to PUBLICLY

recognize every life that has been lost so that the American people

can live their callous little lives in the luxory and freedom that WE,

those that are living and those that have gone on, have provided for

them. But, wait, that would take too much time, because there have

been so many willing to make that sacrifice. After all, we will never

make millions of dollars. We will never star in movies, or write hit

songs that the world will listen too. We only shed our blood, sweat

and tears so that people can enjoy what they have.

Sorry if I have offended, but I needed to say it. Feel free to pass

this along if you want.

Remember these five words the next time you think of someone who is

serving in the military;

"So that others may live..."

Isaac "

Time sure flies...

2009-07-12T17:40:00.000-07:00

As I am sure you all are well aware, I have been M.I.A. for a while. I don't really have time to go into all the gory details, so I'll give you the "Readers Digest" (which, by the way, is my favorite mag) version.

I took the kids to Idaho for their summer visit. The kids and I stayed there a week together before I had to give them to him. Then I stayed for 2 more weeks, cleaning my dad's house, doing some yard work and also some home-maintenance. It was a VERY busy 2 weeks! Then, Patrick, Sara, Joey and I headed back to Oregon. Patrick had band camp for a week. On Friday my dad and Sara's friend, John, joined us. We enjoyed Patrick's concert on Friday night. Saturday we went to the beach and first thing Sunday morning I took my dad to the airport to fly back to Idaho while Sara and all 4 boys began the drive.

It has been quite a hectic 4 weeks. I still don't know if I will have a job this fall or not. I have tons to do, getting the house in order, painting the boys' room and catching up on all the bookkeeping and records for the business...

So, that's it in a nutshell. I will post some pictures and fill in the blanks later. For now I think I'm going to put my feet up and see if I can enjoy the quite for a bit :D

The drive inn

2009-06-07T11:18:00.000-07:00

Last night Darren, the kids, and I went to the drive in. We have always enjoyed it. When we were in Pocatello we would go several times over the summer. That drive in theatre is now gone. They tore it down about a year or so ago. I was very excited to find there is one so near us here!

We saw Land of the Lost and Terminator. Land of the Lost was pretty stupid. If you haven't seen it yet and are curious, I'd suggest waiting for it to come out on video. Terminator was Terminator. If you liked the others you'd probably like this one. Although, I do have to admit that I didn't see the whole thing, I fell asleep through parts of the middle, but I honestly don't think I really missed much.

So...a year ago today Darren and I were married. So, today is both our 5th and 1st anniversary. We met face to face in person 5 years ago. Seems like just yesterday and seems like forever ago all at the same time. So much has happened. So much has changed. We have been through so much together. And still, here we are. That's something!

Two weeks or so...

2009-05-30T11:30:00.000-07:00

until I have to take my kids to their dad. He is such a putz sometimes, but...for better or worse, he does love the kids and tries to do his best. He isn't the best, but he does the best he knows how, which, I guess, is all anyone can ask for. Right?

Over the years he has done so many things that have been hurtful to me and to the children. Things that I doubt any of us will ever truly get over. But, he is doing the best he knows how for the person that he is. Sometimes I wish I could be like other mothers and ex-wives. I want (need) to protect my children. But, as the court made very clear - you cannot "convict" someone for a crime until they actually commit it. So, even though I'd like to be like so many other women, and keep my children home with me and protect them from the evil that they may or may not encounter, I will pack their things, load up the car, and take them for their summer visit.

My ex-husband may never know the restraint shown to him because of the hurt that I have seen befall another. After what he did to us, I wanted so badly to pack my children and run. Go so far away that he'd never be able to see us or hurt any of us again. Someplace where he'd never be able to raise his voice or his hands to us...but I didn't. I stayed. I knew and know, that despite his faults and short-comings, he loves the children. Maybe not how you or I think he should, but with what he has. And even with moving away last year, we are still reasonably close. And I don't fight him when he wants to see the children. Even when they do not want to go, I encourage them to go, and sadly, sometimes "make" them go. (Once even when they were literally kicking and screaming and fighting it.) Every visit that the court says he gets and every visit he asks for, they go. And so far, thankfully, each time they come home safe and happy and they even say they enjoyed themselves for the majority of the time.

And now, it is time for them to spend the entire summer, minus only 2 weeks, with their dad. It is going to be one long, hard summer for me. I miss them so much when they are away. But...sometimes that's what we have to do as parents. Let things be a little more difficult for ourselves so that our children can grow up and make decisions and have feelings from their own time and experiences. Not from what someone else (including me) has said, or from some childhood memory that may or may not be completely accurate. But from what they learn and experience for themselves, in person. People change every day. And you can't base how you feel today on something that happened a day ago, a week ago, a year or even several years ago. Yes, we do need to protect our children, but we also need to give them an opportunity to decide for themselves. As painful as it is going to be for me, I have to let them go. And so I will. With a hug and a kiss and the promise that I will always be with them, no matter what, even if it is only in their hearts. And so another summer begins...

A little about me...

2009-05-27T14:57:00.001-07:00

These are the voyages...

2009-05-17T09:09:00.000-07:00

As I said a few days ago; Darren and I went to see Star Trek. It was really good. I don't know if it will win any awards or anything. It was just a plain "good" movie. It's PG-13 and I'm not quite sure why. I am usually very, very, very picky about what my kids watch. I freaked out when Patrick was in kindergarten and the teacher showed Ice Age (rated PG). I hadn't seen it yet and I about popped a vein when he told me they watched it. (The parents had only been told that the kids were going to have a "movie day", not what movie was going to be shown). Anyway, the point is; I plan to take Patrick to see Star Trek. And Emi, too, if she wants to go.

Living in Pocatello for so long really spoiled me. If you wanted to go to the movies, you went, bought your ticket, proceeded inside and watched the movie. Usually there were no long lines where you had to wait a tremendous amount of time, and I don't think anything was ever "sold out". So, when we went to see this Star Trek, I was in for an unexpected education. When we got there, there was no line, because, you guessed it, the movie was sold out. Soooo...we went ahead and bought our ticket ahead of time (who knew you could do THAT??) and then had about 45 minutes to kill. We went over to Arby's and got a "regular" and a chocolate mocha shake (didn't know they had those... I REALLY need to get out more often!) Then we went back to the theatre, parked the car, listened to some music and ate our snack.

After the show, we went home to find everything peacefully in tact, just as we'd left it. I have to admit, I was a bit aprehensive. We'd never left all 3 kids home alone for that long. Which ended up being about an hour longer than we had planned due to the "sold out" show. Anyway, the kids did not kill one another and the house wasn't burned down. All in all, I'd have to say it was a pretty good day.

Memories from Childhood

2009-05-10T19:24:00.000-07:00

My Aunt Louise used to sing this song during weekend jam sessions. She, my Uncle Bob, Uncle Jim, Uncle Ken and later, my cousin Kenny, played nearly every weekend for as long back as I can remember until...

I've always loved this song. She sang it so beautifully. I think it is appropriate for today...

Enjoy a memory with me.

You've said that nobody cares where you're going
And that your life don't mean nothing at all
You've heard the saying 'you reap what you sow'
So plant a good seed and watch it grow tall

Somewhere a man got no woman to turn to
Somewhere a woman is lonely and blue
Somewhere a child's got no momma to hold her
Someone is looking for someone like you

You've said there's no road that you care to travel
Nothing to say that ain't been said before
And lies a mystery that you can't unravel
Well that's the key that will open that door

Somewhere a man got no woman to turn to
Somewhere a woman is lonely and blue
Somewhere a child's got no momma to hold her
Someone is looking for someone like you

Think of all the time you waste complaining
Think of all the good that could be done
Think of all the friends you could be gaining
If you lift your hand and help someone

Somewhere a man got no woman to turn to
Somewhere a woman is lonely and blue
Somewhere a child's got no momma to hold her
Someone is looking for someone like you

Somewhere a man got no woman to turn to
Somewhere a woman is lonely and blue
Somewhere a child's got no momma to hold her
Someone is looking for someone like you

Mother's Day and stuff

2009-05-10T12:14:00.000-07:00

This post will start with events from Friday, May 8th.

While at work I received the following surprise gift from a dear sweet friend. The biggest surprise is that it was delivered to my work. I'd never received such a lovely gift - most especially for Mother's Day.

Next, when I got home, there was a box waiting for me. Inside was this,

from my most wonderful, sweet, firstborn niece. She is the best!

After that, my husband came in and said, "Did you see what I got you?" And this

was sitting on the piano.

Friday was a very sweet-smelling day! :) I am feeling very happy.

I decided that on Saturday I'd have Darren's family over for a surprise birthday party for him. He's been feeling badly for the last several weeks. Today (May 10) is the first anniversary of his mom's death. With it being on Mother's Day, makes it just that much harder. Anyway, I decided a family bbq might help everyone feel a little bit better. So, that's what we did. I didn't get to visit much, because, true to my royal lineage (The Queen of Procrastination) I didn't have everything ready when everyone began to arrive. I ended up spending most of my time still in the kitchen while the festivities commenced. :) (I'm not complaining, mind you, just providing that information.)

Anyway, it seems everyone had a nice time. The food was good and the visit was nice. It was our first time really having "company" over. I only got 1 picture. (again - being inside and all) but I think Darren got a few from later in the day. I'll see if I can find them and post them.

So, now on to today. I was awakened at about 8am. My oldest son, Patrick, brought me breakfast in bed. He had made some toast and a scrambled egg. He also cut up a banana and put maraschino cherries, maraschino cherry juice, chocolate sauce & caramel syrup on top. (yummy??) Emi made me a couple of coupons to do sweet things for me and a little card.

We, the kids and I, went to church together. All in all, it was a pleasant morning.

Later today, Darren is going to take me to see the new Star Trek movie. Well, actually, he is more "going with me" than taking me. I told him when I very first saw the trailer that I was going, with or without him, so.... ;0)

To all the dear Mothers out there - I wish you a day where you are truly shown how much you are appreciated for all the mothering you do.

Technology

2009-05-04T11:08:00.000-07:00

So...
I just wanted to take a quick minute to confound you all with my own personal contradictions.

I am not a huge fan of all this modern technology. I don't want my phone to play music, I want it to have a signal where-ever I am at. When I listen to music I have a radio, cd player, mp3 player, tape deck and yes, even a record player. To me, a phone is a phone. As for the internet, I love that I can chat and send e-mail, check my bank balance and all those other "convenience" things. But, you won't find me on E-Bay or Amazon or any other site buying stuff. I prefer to go to the store where I can actually touch and feel and look at what I am considering purchasing. When I book a flight, which I am finding myself doing more of than I EVER thought I would, I go online, check everything out, then call and make my reservation with a LIVE person, just so I know everything is correct. I get frustrated and, to be honest, a little angry, when I have to wait threw 15 minutes of recorded "self help" options to find out I need to "press 8 for a customer service representative". I prefer to use cash and / or checks to make purchases. I avoid stores that require me to use a debit card rather than my checkbook. I think children should play outside, with toys or their imaginations. I think things like xBox, PSP, Gamecube and the like should all be "special treats" especially for children. I think boys should call girls. I think girls should be ladies and boys, gentlemen. I think children should be taught manners and everyone should use them.

The point of the story is this. Although in most ways I am still a fan of the "old school" ways, I am quite thankful for the technology that help you "find people". There is someone who was imensly special in my life. Sometime during my senior year, we completely lost track of eachother. I had tried, several times, over the years to track this person down, even had a general idea of where they might be, but was never able to make contact.

Just a few days ago I'd gotten a spam mail from Classmates.com. Usually I just delete them, but this time I went ahead and clicked on the link. Guess what! The person I'd been looking for had been looking for me, too! I had a very basic profile on classmates. I don't have a paid membership (remember the part where I don't pay for stuff online? ha ha) , but was able to read the message. We have "made contact". I am very happy about that. I have had the questions answered that have been in my head all these years. I have found an old friend and, I hope, made a new one, too.

I am still an "old school" girl. I don't see myself changing much, but, I guess technology isn't so bad, after all...

From a dear, dear friend.

2009-04-23T12:09:00.000-07:00

I have a very dear friend. She and I first met when we were 12 years old, in 7th grade, at Mt. View Jr. High in Newman Lake, Washington. She has always been a wonderful friend, true in every way. I admire her strength and beauty, both inside and out. She is the kind of mother, wife and woman I would like to be. We do share one great difference. She is Mormon. I am not. Some may wonder how we can be such friends with such a difference. My only answer is; it is easy. We respect each other and learn from each other. Neither of us has the need to "be right". We love each just as we are. We both love God. And Jesus Christ is our Savior.

She and I were having a discussion last evening about religion and people and how some claim to be one way and yet act somewhat opposite to the teachings. She provided me with the following article and I found it very interesting. Although it came from "her church" - I fully agree with what it says. I guess that's part of what makes us such good friends. We can find value and substance and understand what and why each other believes what we believe. I hope you find value in the article, as well.

This article is from www.lds.org.

"SALT LAKE CITY 18 April 2008 A respect for the diverse beliefs and unique contributions of all the world’s faiths is one of the hallmarks of Mormonism. From the earliest days of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Joseph Smith elevated the principle of religious liberty and tolerance: “We claim the privilege of worshiping Almighty God according to the dictates of our own conscience, and allow all men the same privilege, let them worship how, where, or what they may” (Articles of Faith 1:11).

In that same spirit, Church President Thomas S. Monson made a plea during general conference, a semiannual worldwide meeting, for more religious understanding: “I would encourage members of the Church wherever they may be to show kindness and respect for all people everywhere. The world in which we live is filled with diversity. We can and should demonstrate respect toward those whose beliefs differ from ours.” Latter-day Saints accept all sincere believers as equals in the pursuit of faith and in the great work of serving humanity.

Emphasizing God’s love for all people, not just those of one religion, President Dieter F. Uchtdorf of the First Presidency, the highest governing body of the Church, declared: “We honor and respect sincere souls from all religions, no matter where or when they lived, who have loved God, even without having the fullness of the gospel. We lift our voices in gratitude for their selflessness and courage. We embrace them as brothers and sisters, children of our Heavenly Father. … He hears the prayers of the humble and sincere of every nation, tongue, and people. He grants light to those who seek and honor Him and are willing to obey His commandments.”

The late Krister Stendahl, emeritus Lutheran Bishop of Stockholm and professor emeritus of Harvard Divinity School, established three rules for religious understanding: (1) When you are trying to understand another religion, you should ask the adherents of that religion and not its enemies; (2) don't compare your best to their worst; and (3) leave room for "holy envy" by finding elements in other faiths to emulate. These principles foster relationships between religions that build trust and lay the groundwork for charitable efforts.

The spiritual and physical needs of the world require goodwill and cooperation among different faiths. Each of them makes a valuable contribution to the larger community of believers.

In the words of early Church apostle Orson F. Whitney, “God is using more than one people for the accomplishment of his great and marvelous work. The Latter-day Saints cannot do it all. It is too vast, too arduous, for any one people.” Thus, members of the Church do not view fellow believers around the world as adversaries or competitors, but as partners in the many causes for good in the world.

For example, the Church has joined forces with Catholic Relief Services in a “collaboration of caring” that aids victims of famine and natural disaster. Furthermore, the Church worked with Islamic Relief Worldwide and the Islamic Society of Great Salt Lake to provide immediate humanitarian assistance in December 2004 to the tsunami-hit areas of Indonesia, Thailand and Sri Lanka.

It is important to note that interfaith cooperation does not require doctrinal compromise. Though the Church asserts its ecclesiastical independence and recognizes its doctrinal differences, this does not prevent it from partnering with other faiths in charitable projects. These efforts are based on universal values. A different interpretation of the atonement of Christ, for example, need not diminish the mandate of Christ to “love thy neighbor as thyself.” Therefore, it is necessary to maintain a separation between charitable efforts and doctrinal tenets, while at the same time sharing mutual concern for those in need. People of good faith do not need to have the exact same beliefs in order to accomplish great things in the service of their fellow human beings."

Another long update

2009-04-20T19:27:00.000-07:00

The last couple of weekends have been pretty busy. Therefore, this will be a long one again.

The weekend after Easter Sara, my niece; Joey, my nephew and her little brother; and John, Sara's boyfriend, all came to visit. They got here Friday afternoon. I still had an hour left of work, so they went and surprised Patrick at the middle school and picked him up. He was SO excited. After they dropped Joey & Patrick off at the house, Sara and John went and picked Aaron & Emileigh up at the elementary school. Like Patrick, they were pretty surprised. I hadn't told any of the kids that she was coming :)

Friday we just hung out. They had a long drive and were pretty beat. Saturday we got up and had a lazy morning. Then we went to the Gilbert House, which is a children's museum. It was a free day there. It was pretty interesting. The "Gilbert" that they are referring to is the guy who invented the erector sets and other toys like that. He also made small appliances like hair dryers, fans. There is even a Gilbert brand telephone. Anyway, after the Gilbert house we walked over to the carosell. It was fun! Each of the kids got the golden ring so they got to ride 5 times! The carosell is one of the very, very few left in the world where the horses are all made of wood and each individually hand carved. What makes it even more special is that each of the horses has it's own personal story and "history".

After the park and such, we came home and had some lunch. Then we loaded up the car again and drove up to Portland to go to the Japanese garden and rose garden. The Japanese garden was just BEAUTIFUL! The rose garden didn't really have anything blooming, but it was still a pretty walk. Then, on the way out of the gardens there was a park, so we stopped and played there for a while. We didn't get home until after 8pm! It was a great day and the weather was so nice.

Sunday we went to the beach. We packed a yummy picnic lunch of ham & turkey sandwiches with cheese (we made them at the beach), various kinds of chips, bananas and a variety of snack-cakes for dessert and "walmart water" to drink. I just LOVE walmart water! (the bubbly, flavored stuff - the golden peach is my most favorite!). The tide was out so we got to see TONS of star fish and hermit crabs. One of the crabs was as big as a tarantuala! Sara took a picture of it...maybe she'll send me a copy :D

The sun was really warm, but the wind was blowing and was pretty chilly. So after we saw the "ocean life" and had our lunch we packed up. Sara wanted to check out the outlet mall, so we went there. She and John found some GREAT buys on things they had been looking all over for and hadn't been able to find, so the shopping trip was a success.

After the mall, we went to Depoe Bay to see the spouting water. The tide was still out pretty far, so they didn't get to see that :~( So...we headed home. It should have only taken us an hour, but ended up taking 2 because of traffic... I don't think I will EVER get used to that! Southeastern Idaho spoiled me as far as traffic is concerned!

Monday was "back to work" and back to Idaho for Sara, Joey & John. It was really nice though, to have them here. I miss them so much! And I am especially glad that the weather cooperated with us - mostly.

April 28 -

I had saved the above post as a draft because I wanted to add some pictures and check my spelling. Since so many days have gone by, I guess I'll just keep going...

One of the things Darren was hoping to accomplish when Sara & John came was to get some helpful hints from John. He is a machinist and Darren has some equipment that he has been teaching himself to use. John was able to help him with some tricks for his lathe but the mill wasn't here yet. So, Darren wasn't able to pick John's brain about that. The bummer is that the mill got to our house yesterday. If they'd have come a week later... but, then again, the weather isn't nearly as nice this week, so I'm happy they came when they did!

Other than that the only other "exciting" thing has been my ears :^( I have had the worst itching in my ears for over a year now. Every time it gets bad enough to go to the doctor and I decide to make an appointment, it gets better so I don't go. A couple months ago it was really bad and my ears were swelling up and I couldn't hear, so I went to the clinic. We don't have insurance and we didn't have a regular doc at the time so... Anyway, the clinic doc said I had "swimmer's ear" and prescribed an antibiotic. My ears felt better for about 2 weeks, then started itching again. Last week they were so bad that I thought the itching would literally drive me mad. A parent at the school mentioned a PA that was taking new patients and lucky for us, she agreed to take on our family. I made an appointment. She did a prelimanary test and said that it looked like it might be some sort of yeast infection. She prescribed a medicine w/ steriod and said she'd send the swab into the lab for further tests. My ears did NOT feel better. My left ear swelled even further and the pain was excruciating! By Monday, with the help of some left-over vicadin the pain had subsided but not the itching. While I was at work the doc called to tell me that I did not have a yeast infection, but I had the "mersa virus" -- a highly resistant virus, which is why the original anitbiotic didn't work. She prescribed a new oral antibiotic and an ear drop one with the medicine along with a steriod. The 2 prescriptions totalled almost $150 !! Like I said, no insurance... Anyway, I asked the pharmasist if I could get away with just the oral one (it was only $15) and she said - "No way!!" -- the mersa virus, I guess is pretty serious...

So...the question of the day - - how did I get such a yucky virus in my ears??? I am thankful to finally have a doc who will go the extra mile and actually figure out what is wrong. And I hope that our $150 is well-spent and that my ears will FINALLY quit itching!

Journal for me - looonnngg blog for you :)

2009-04-16T10:15:00.000-07:00

Easter

We left Oregon on Friday afternoon. One of many blessings working for a Christian school is that you get religious holidays off. We did have school for the first half of Good Friday so that all of the students could attend Good Friday services together. We also got Easter Monday off. That is what gave me the time to head north.

We didn’t get as early of a start as I had hoped, as usual. We got into Liberty Lake, which is just east of Spokane, at around 10pm. (We stayed with Karen, one of my best girlfriends from junior high.) The drive was good, no troubles. We stopped along the way for snacks and potty breaks. The kids had brought books and dvd’s for the portable dvd player (my dad bought it for them a couple of years ago when we took a trip to Montana to meet my sister) which kept them entertained when they got tired of talking or singing with the radio.

We got in, had some pizza and then off to bed. Karen and I stayed awake talking until after 3am. Of course, the kids were up bright and early to wake me up at about 7. We got dressed - it was raining pretty hard. Of course, Patrick had to rub it in that I told him he didn’t need to bring his umbrella! Anyway, we went to an Easter egg hunt put on by Karen’s church. It was over nearly before it started. During the drive Patrick had overheard me on the phone talking to my dad and then one of my cousins who lives in Spokane. He got all excited thinking Grampa was going to meet us there. I told him “no”, that if Grampa could afford to go to Aunt Louise’s house (the purpose of the trip) that he could have come to Oregon and we’d have spent Easter at home. So, anyway, after the Easter egg hunt, we headed up to my aunt’s house in Rathdrum, Idaho. As we pulled into her yard, Patrick noticed a white car with Idaho plates – no surprise, we were in Idaho, after-all. Then he looked again and shouted “GRAMPA! Grampa IS here!”. I started laughing and said, yes, he is here. The kids all began climbing over each other trying to be the first out of the car. They were SO excited!

After a few hours visiting there, we all went into Spokane to visit my cousin, Darcy. We had a nice visit with her and her daughter Christine. It was bitter-sweet. It was our first visit since my aunt Nancy (Darcy’s mom) passed away. The mood was melancholy, but we enjoyed our visit and we were all happy to see each other. After spending most of the afternoon there, it was late and the kids (and I) were getting pretty sleepy. We said our good-byes and headed back to Louise’s, where my dad was staying.

Easter we spent up at Louise’s, as well. Much of the family came. We had a wonderful meal with ham, turkey, baked beans and all kinds of salads and desserts. It was a special time with family. It was nice to see everyone. Most I hadn’t seen since my mom passed away 5 years ago (just yesterday, it seems).

Monday we headed back home. (of course, without taking any pictures :( I am such a slacker!) We stopped at a road-side fresh fruit & veggie market along the way. We got some fresh apples, home-made ice cream and fresh cut asparagus - YUMMY! We arrived home around 6pm. Darren had cleaned the kitchen for me - a BIG thank you to him! I certainly didn’t expect that.

Overall we had a very nice trip. The kids got to spend time with cousins and play in the woods and see family they hadn’t seen in “forever”, as did I. We were able to see my dad. The family was together, almost like “old times”. Bitter-sweet. Good to be together, missing those who have passed on. Family is precious. I am so very thankful for the caring, loving, accepting family that I have been blessed with.

I am happy for the time I was able to spend with my family, so dear. I am happy to be home with my husband and to sleep in my own bed. If only we could combine the two worlds...

A Glorious Day

2009-04-06T11:11:00.000-07:00

The kids and I had a pretty nice weekend. Although I have been battling really bad ear pain and severe headaches, we still managed to have a pleasant time thanks to some "magic pills" (prescribed, of course) Saturday Emi and I did a tiny bit of shopping. I saw a commercial for Ross and they were having a shoe sale. Now, I really don't need any more shoes, but it appeared they had some sandals that I would really like, so... as you'd expect, the ones on tv were not in the store. I did find one pair, however, that I had been looking for all last spring and into the summer. There was a specific style I wanted to wear with my wedding dress - and I could not find them ANYWHERE. Just my luck, Ross had the exact type I had been looking for last year! CRAZY!! I went ahead and bought them, because I hope I'll get to wear my dress again some time :) They also had another pair in a style that I have loved and worn for many, many, many years. I did not want to spend a ton of money, so I just bought the 2 pairs of sandals and a birthday gift for my niece - something that Emi noticed on our way to the check stand. I know she'll LOVE it. I'm not gonna' say what it is, just in case she reads this, so... ha ha - she'll have to wait!

After Ross, it was off to the grocery store then back home. Darren's brothers came over with their boys, so Emi and I were pretty much left out of the rest of the after noon. We did a little laundry and painted her doggy piggy bank that she got quite some time ago. Then she helped me make a snack-type dinner for everyone. I made some chicken for the "big boys" and they must have really like it because Reed asked for the recipe and they ate every last piece!

Sunday was a warm and beautiful day. The kids were excited to have such a nice day and decided they did not want to go to church. I relented and we skipped. I told them, though, that if we weren't going to go to church, we were going to enjoy the beatiful day that God gave us and get the yard cleaned up. So, that's what we did. I wanted to get to the grocery store to buy dinner for the week before the crowds, so I had them clean up all their toys inside and put away all the laundry they didn't get put away yesterday, while I was gone. When I came back home, we got to work in the yard. I am wishing I'd have taken some "before" pictures so you could better appreciate how much we got done. I will post some "after" pictures later today. ( I don't have any and I'm at work right now )

We had a great day working together! The kids started to get bored with it around 4, so we all took a break. I made some yummy dinner and then, later after it started cooling off, we went back out and finished up the main part of what we were working on. I don't know that they appreciated how hard they worked and what a difference it made, but I think they will notice it when they come home from school this afternoon and see how nice it really looks. We still have a LOT to do, and we'll probably work on it a little bit each afternoon while it is still nice out. I know they will moan about it now - but when they are older I know they will remember, fondly, working together. I know, for myself, that I remember and miss and am so thankful for those times like that I was able to spend with my mom...

Josh has been cleaning and fixing up the loft. It was such a nice day, once he got done with some insulating and other stuff, he came out and joined in the yard work. He didn't actually help us in our yard area, but around the burn barrel and burn pile. The "friends" that were staying with us over the winter left a pretty terrible mess that has blown all over the place. The kids and I spent several hours cleaning up their mess a few weeks ago when the weather cleared for a bit, but there was still much to do. The wind had also sent a bunch of campaign signs around the yard that needed to be picked up and re-stacked. Anyway, Josh worked on that area a bit and got the burnables all piled up again. After the kids went to bed he lit it up and the 3 of us (Josh, Darren and I) sat around the "bon fire" and enjoyed the evening for an hour or so. It was a nice relaxing ending to a long hard day.

So - it's back to the grind. My break is over. Now it's time to get lunch set up for the students and do my recess duty for the next 2 hours. fun, fun, fun.... not!

OK, so I lied...

2009-03-30T10:35:00.000-07:00

...not about being too busy, just about not posting anymore. See, I told you I was in a mood :~)

The kids are home safe and sound. I am really happy about that. Overall, they said they had a good time, and I am glad. We were all sort of anxious about the trip so the fact that everything turned out ok really makes me feel better. There were some bumps in the road during the visit, but nothing earth shattering.

I really am not myself when the kids are gone.

While the kids were gone I was able to get Aaron's side of the boy's room cleaned and organized. That is a chore I have been putting off for quite some time. I also got some other much needed housework done. The weather is starting to get nicer so I really want to get the house all taken care of, you know, spring cleaning and all, so that we can spend time outside making things nice to enjoy being out there. There is so much space that we can make it a pleasant place to eat and visit and play. I love the sunshine and being outside!

I am going to buy some planting soil and get some nice flowers to put on the deck and front porch. I think I can keep them alive and pretty. I bought 2 poinsettia plants between Thanksgiving and Christmas and they are both still alive and pretty. I also bought a tea rose in January, and it's also alive and blooming. My thumb must finally be turning a bit green :)

Good Bye

2009-03-24T22:14:00.000-07:00

I have gotten into a mood. I am not sure why, but I have.

With 3 children, a full time job and 99% of the responsibility to make enough money to pay bills, along with all of the household chores to do with only the help of my children, blogging is just something that I cannot justify the time for.

To the very, very few of you who actually read what I write, I am sorry. I can't imagine that what is written here is terribly interesting, anyway.

I may, in the future, find the time to re-visit this place, but for now it is good-bye.

I would welcome any e-mails and do actually write letters with pen and ink to those who care to receive them.

I wish you a very happy spring. I know that I am certainly looking forward to some warmth and sunshine.

Kids...

2009-03-21T20:12:00.000-07:00

The kids left yesterday (Friday) morning to spend spring break with their dad. They had mixed feelings about going. They want to go to Idaho to see grampa and sara and any of their friends who may be in town over the break, but they weren't too excited about going with their dad and they were really not looking forward to having to spend time with his girlfriend (they really don't like her much).

Anyway - one would think that having the kids all day every single day, with no breaks and no time for "me" and no time for Darren and I to be together, just the 2 of us, that I'd be more ok with the kids being gone - but I'm not. Since they left on Friday, I feel completely lost. I have no idea what to do with myself.

Today I did some laundry, worked on a blanket I'm making for Patrick, read some more of my book and watched a bunch of Netflix on my computer... pretty exciting stuff, huh?

I do have a bunch of stuff to do. I want to make the boys' room a little nicer for them - I think I may get some stuff to make some shelves for the wall so they have more room. They share a room and it's divided in half with their dressers - and neither of them have much space. If I get really ambitious I may even paint it for them -- but I think I'll work on just getting it cleaned up for them first. Emi needs some help in her room, too. Her closet is all shelves so she can't hang up any of her dresses. So I am going to see if I can get Darren's screw gun and take some of the shelves out so she can put some of her things away better, too.

Yep -- lots to do to keep me busy while the kids are gone. But first, I need to get out of this funk...

I thought things would be different here...I thought I'd be happy -- but really, I just miss home...I hope I can handle being here without the kids for the summer. It's just so lonely...

Thank God for Family

2009-03-14T17:53:00.000-07:00

First things first...tomorrow we will be "off line" to "uninvited" readers. So, if you'd like to continue to keep up on our oh-so-boring life here in Oregon, you'll need to send me your e-mail address so I can add you to the list....

So, on to the point of today's blog. Family.

Last November or December my car died. I mean, completely died. One day it started the next day it didn't. Considering it has nearly 250 thousand miles, I can't complain. But for the last few months I have had to depend on different people to get me back and forth to work. Darren was having to get up early, take me to work, go to work himself and then be off early enough to pick me up. It was interesting trying to orchestrate it all. Sometimes it would end up taking him 2 days to do one days worth of work in order to pick me up in time. The last couple of weeks he hasn't had a lot to do so I've been taking the car. The problem with that is, if someone calls he can't go right away but has to schedule for the next day.

Anyway, Darren had some work to do at his aunt & uncle's house. They called to see when he would be back to finish. He explained the transportation problem. And, bless their hearts, they said we could borrow one of their cars until he has the work at their place complete. HURRAY for family!!

I don't know what we will do after that -- go back to the orchestra, I suppose. It will be awhile before we can get another car with his work being so slow right now. But at least for the next week or so we will both be able to get where we need to go when we need to get there :) Like I said...thank God for family!

e-mail addresses

2009-03-09T16:34:00.000-07:00

I am planning on making the change to invited readers only this week. I have had a few of you indicate you'd like to be able to continue to follow our silly adventures.

In order to make that change, I need to "invite" you to the blog - meaning that I need your regular e-mail address.

You can send that to me at
darrennkate@yahoo.com

Thanks :)

I look forward to hearing from you.

One Fish, Two Fish, Red Fish, Blue Fish

2009-03-02T19:05:00.000-08:00

That is one of the stories I remember reading while sitting on my gran'ma's lap. My other favorite was the one "in a mouse house". I have many fond "Dr. Seuss memories". Today is his birthday, for those who may not have elementary children to remind you.

The elementary school that my younger two children go to had a Dr. Seuss celebration on Friday. Today they were treated to a special surprise. The entire school (around 100 students) got to watch "Horton Hears a Who" during their regular reading time. Another treat they received was to have "Green Eggs and Ham" read aloud to them... in LATIN :) yep -- I was asked if I'd mind reading it to the student body while they were getting the film (just dated myself) ...I mean, movie, set up. I was happy to do it.

I took Latin as my foreign language requirement for my BA. I have several children's books in Latin. They are very fun to read, especially the Dr. Seuss ones. They are difficult, but quite fun and a real workout for your tongue!! You could win any tongue twister competition hands down after a little "Suess in Latin" warm-up!!

I also went to my oldest son's middle school and read to his homeroom class and then in the "reading room" with several other classes. It was especially appropriate for them as they have been studying Greek and Latin roots in their Language Arts classes.

It was a fun day spending time with my children at school. And they all thought it was pretty cool that their mom can read in a language that none of thier friend's moms can ;~) I really miss being able to be a "traditional mom" where I am free to help out in my kids' classrooms at any time. At least my job allows me to be home until they all go to school and we all get home about the same time. My boss also is flexible, giving me time, like today, to go to their schools. They are also able to come to work with me on days when they are out of school, but we are not. It's a pretty good compromise. I am pretty lucky.

For breakfast in the public school the kids all had "Green Eggs & Ham" and at the private school I work at, they had it for lunch. The ham was just sliced breakfast ham. The eggs...well, they simply added food coloring to the scrambled eggs. I tried it ('cause you just won't know if you like it if you don't) - and I have to be honest - it wasn't that bad. Could have used a little salt...

Other than that, nothing terribly exciting has been going on. Our quazi-house guests have finally found a place of their own. I am a bit sad; that much time (since before Thanksgiving) that close together has put a bit of a strain on our friendship. If they had spent a little more time in "their" space and not so much time in ours, I think it may have been ok. But every day, all day long with 9 people in one house, in just one or two rooms- it got a little crowded. If they'd have just been over during meal time and clean up - and a little to visit, play cards or whatever, it would have been very nice. But the just "hanging out" all the time - we were beginning to feel like we couldn't do our own normal routines. Even the kids were beginning to feel a little put out. I couldn't afford to include them in everything we did and I didn't want to leave them out - so we ended up not doing a lot of our normal things.... anyway... I'm sad my friend is gone, but I'm glad to have some of my "space" back.

There is a lot more to the situation that made things hard, but not worth mentioning here. Let's just say that, hopefully after they get settled into their new place - the hard feelings will soften and she and I can work on being good friends again.

On a much happier note -- 18 days until Spring Break -- HURRAY!!

Security

2009-02-22T12:41:00.000-08:00

I have been thinking about this blog and about all the many, many people who have access to reading it. I have found that some folks have found my blog with searches about beaches, sea shell, braces and other various information searches. They aren't searching for our family, but they find us anyway.

I know that some of you who read our blog are family and friends and I am happy to share our adventures with you. I think this is a great way for family and friends to keep in touch and to be kept "in the loop" in regards to what is happening in each other's lives. We take some fun pictures and I know that some of you enjoy seeing them.

However, I'm not sure how comfortable I am posting pictures of my children for the whole world to see. So, for their safety and privacy, I have decided to make our blog more "private". I am going to wait a week or so before I "close" it to the public. If you would like to continue reading our blog, and I am happy to have you, please send me an e-mail or a comment here, and I will add you to the list of people who will have access.

I don't want to alienate anyone. I know 99% of the people looking here are family or friends or just people who know us, and I am happy for that and welcome you all. I just am thinking that for the kids' sake, I should close it to the "general public at large".

So, this is an open invitation, to anyone and everyone that visits us here...please send me your contact info and I will keep the blog open to you - that includes everyone - from Alaska to Texas to Japan and everywhere in between! I don't want to close you out!

So... on to more interesting things -- after next week I will post some of our ocean trip photos. We had a great time and plan to take my dad out again this summer to try and catch a tuna or 2. For spring break, my kids have to go and spend the time with their dad. I think I am going to drive them there. That way I can see my dad and niece and nephew and my dear friends that I miss so much. I hope spring will have found Idaho by then!

There hasn't been much exciting going on lately. Since my dad went back home we have just been catching up on things around the house. We have had nice weather the last couple of days and have spent time in the yard, cleaning it up and getting ready for spring. I'm going to get some grass seed and see if I can get some to take root and have a nice lawn for the summer. I would also like to plant some flowers. We may have to bring in some top soil, since the ground is really hard and rocky here. I am really looking forward to nicer weather and bbq's and family visiting and playing volleyball and badmitton in our nice big yard! I am really excited for those things.

For now...we just got home from church a bit ago. I need to make some lunch then it's off to work. I need to download some of Patrick's homework. We don't have the program on our home computer - another thing I need to do - update our programs :)

I hope you all have a blessed Sunday.

Time

2009-02-16T10:12:00.000-08:00

As I get older, especially over the last several months, I have found that I value time more than anything. Maybe it's the loss of my mother and sister or maybe it's a combination of that along with being away from my family. I am finding it very lonely here in Oregon.

Don't get me wrong. I do really like it here and I know it was the best thing to do. It has been a blessing being here in so many ways. But I would be lying if I said I didn't miss seeing my dad every day, if I said I didn't miss seeing my niece nearly every day, if I said I didn't miss my dear friends. I do miss them all very, very much. It is hard to start anew. I had lived in southern Idaho longer than I had ever lived in one place at one time. It was my home. It was all familiar, comfortable. We had our doctors, dentists, optometrist, orthodontist. I knew exactly which store to go to get exactly what I wanted. I never had to search for anything. I knew where it all was. Now, I have to learn it all over again.

But I digress. This blog is about time. When someone would ask me what I wanted I could think about it for awhile and finally come up with something. A new pair of shoes, a dress or some other item of clothing, a new bathrobe or maybe slippers, a necklace, bracelet or something else shiny and pretty. Now, I can think for days and days and if I do think of something, it's something practical - like a new facet to replace the leaky one in the tub or a kitty door. It is getting harder and harder to think of "things" that I want.

I am finding that I truly treasure time. I would love the "time" to go out with my husband and just be together, "time" with my children to go to the park or simply sit on the couch and read a book together, "time" - simply "time".

Time is so precious and so fleeting. It never stands still. It goes by, sometimes quickly, sometimes painfully slow, but always the same, it goes.

Five years ago today, at this very moment in time, my mother was taking her last breaths. In exactly 3 minutes from now, she took her last...in my arms...and she was gone. Her time was done. Her spirit free. Her pain released. Our pain increased. A new time began.

I treasure every minute that I had with my mom, even the last. I am thankful for the small town that we lived in, that allowed the personal touch of business people. I was allowed the time with my mother, to make her pretty, curl her hair, paint her fingernails and apply her make-up for the last time her family and friends would see her. To spend the last bit of time with her. Time.

Saturday I got to spend time with my dad. He came here to visit for the weekend. One of the things he has always wanted to do is to "ocean fish". So, for the short time he was here, I planned a fishing trip. We drove to Newport and spent the night. On the way there we stopped for dinner at a Chinese place. Our fortune cookies promised us a successful time fishing. We had a nice time sharing our meal together.

Then we went on to Newport and stayed the night in a hotel. We spent time, before falling asleep, talking about numerous things, nothing really, just talking and visiting and spending time. We had to get up very early to get to the boat, so finally we went to sleep. We were up ahead of time. So we took advantage and spent it on each other. Darren and I went to get some coffee while dad and the kids woke up.

After we had our things packed up and our several layers of clothes put on, we went out for breakfast and spent some more time talking about what lay ahead. What it might be like on the boat. Anticipating the fish we were going to catch. We finished our breakfast and headed for the dock. We boarded the little boat. It held only 6 passengers. We were the 6. We had a wonderful time. We caught our limit and then 5 more for the captain.

I will forever treasure the time I got to spend with my dad, my children and my husband. My dad has wanted to "ocean fish" ever since he first came to America. He says he "had the best time". He says he will remember "the time I went ocean fishing" for the rest of his life. I hope it is a long time that he will be able to remember it. My children will always remember "the time they went fishing on the ocean" with their Grampa. I will always remember the time...

Time. It can be a cruel enemy. It can be a dear friend. I treasure time. Time is all I want. Time to enjoy my family. Time to enjoy my friends. Time alone to relax and reflect on the time that I've had. Time to put my thoughts in order and my emotions in check so that the time I spend with others is time they will treasure as fondly as I will. Time to be the kind of friend " a friend would like to have".

An Update

2009-01-29T19:47:00.000-08:00

Thank you for all of your thoughts and prayers.

My dad had his surgery on Tuesday. It went well. He was back to work today. He is still a bit weak and uncomfortable due to the method they used to remove the tumors, but overall he is recovering well.

He is coming for a visit in February. The kids and I are very excited to see him again. I'd have to say that is the worst part about living in Oregon - not seeing "grampa" every day.

A true story

2009-01-29T19:15:00.000-08:00

There is a man who has a daughter he loves very much. She is his youngest and his last. He hasn't seen her in several years. He doesn't talk about her much, it reminds him just how much he misses her. When he does talk of her, when he looks through pictures or has a memory come to mind, his eyes light up with love.

Although he can't claim any part of it, she has grown to be a very smart and accomplished young lady and he is very proud of her. Not only did she excel in her schooling but she graduated early. With that, one might think a girl would enjoy the time off, relax a bit, stay up late, sleep in on a weekday. But not her! She applied to and was accepted to begin college. So, just a few weeks after her 18th birthday and nearly 9 months before her peers, she went off to begin her university education.

Her dad is so proud of the young woman his little girl grew up to be.

When will it stop???

2009-01-16T22:37:00.001-08:00

I have been debating and thinking and debating some more about making this post. I finally decided that it can't hurt anymore than it already does...so here it goes.

We found out recently that my dad has cancer. I spoke with the nurse who was present at the appointment and with the doctor when my dad was given the news. She said that it "really isn't that bad" and that "it was caught in plenty of time" and that "he will be fine". It doesn't make me feel any better.

I am asking for prayers for him - that the nurse is correct and that he will, indeed, be fine. He goes in at the end of the month for an out-patient surgery where they will remove the tumor. They will send it to be examined and then we will know more.

Aaron's 7th Birthday

2009-01-10T19:40:00.000-08:00

It's hard to believe that he is 7 already - as they say --" It seems like just yesterday......" I can't believe how much our lives have changed since that day.

Here are some pictures of his birthday cake and celebration. It's not the prettiest cake I've ever made, but he liked it and it tasted "oh, so good!"

Playing on the roller coaster ride

Opening his gifts -- thank you to all the family who joined us - and thank you for the great gifts! Especially thank you for just coming and celebrating with us!!

Chuck E. Cheese's -- where a kid can be a kid!

Here are a couple of the cake -- he wanted an "Army Truck" -- kinda' looks like it has a flat from this angle :)

Putting together his race track with "Daddy Darren"

Christmas in our Paradise

2009-01-10T19:29:00.000-08:00

Here are some pictures of Christmas day. I was too busy making dinner to get any pictures around the dinner table, for that I am sad. It was a beautiful meal with my wonderful family and friends.

Family Traditions

2008-12-29T23:00:00.000-08:00

Brace yourselves -- this is a long one. I hope you enjoy the ride :)

Growing up my family had many, many traditions. Some for holidays, some for birthdays, some for, well, just because. For now I will share some of our Christmas traditions.

We usually began decorating the house some time after Thanksgiving. We never had a specific day, and often it was a “work in progress” with Christmas morning the finishing touch. Depending on the house we lived in the decorations went from simple to “wow!” We would hang red and green streamers from corner to corner in each room. We would hang red paper bells in each corner and a huge white one would grace the center. We would wind red crepe paper on the banisters, drape white crepe paper streamers marking the way up the stairs with big red bows every few steps up. White snow filled stenciled reindeer, sleighs, nativity scenes, stars, snowmen and snowflakes were displayed in every window. Cut out paper snowflakes would drift lightly down the walls or sometimes hang suspended in air from the ceiling. Fresh pine boughs would fill the house with the scent of Christmas from every doorway and arch. Lights would twinkle in the windows and peek from the boughs. The Nativity would have it's own place in the center of it all to remind us of the reason for celebrating. As we grew older my Mama got a Nativity with the baby Jesus free from his manger. Then, the family Bible and Nativity would sit with Mary & Joseph and the animals anxiously, like us, awaiting the birth of the Son. On Christmas Eve, the baby, shepherd and wise men would join scene. On the “big” decorating day, we would listen to my Mama's Christmas records (yes, vinyl records), Gene Autry, Elvis, Glen Miller Christmas Sing-a-Long and more. Over the years more music was added – my “sister” added Alvin and the Chipmunks in the mid '80's and my younger brother added “Twisted Christmas” (one of my FAVORITES!) in the early '90's, and others were added, as well. On these evenings we enjoyed cheese & beef sticks with crackers, chips and dips, eggnog, diet coke, and cookies among other delights.

Besides the decorating, Christmas candy would be made. Fudge, Divinity, Marzipan cookies, and other holiday favorites would fill the air and our bellies. Christmas Eve my mother and I would make pies for Christmas day. By the time I was 13 or 14 I was making them all, by myself, with my mother & “sister” supervising the efforts. Some of our favorites included; pumpkin, lemon meringue, mincemeat and cherry.

In all of this neither a tree or gifts were ever seen. Santa brought it all. We never felt like something was missing. The house was so beautiful with the lights and scents of Christmas. On Christmas morning we would wake up to the miracle of the holiday. Stockings and gifts and the tree – oh, the wonder of the tree. It always took my breath away. I cannot describe it, even today, how it felt to see the tree and the gifts for the very first time.

After we stood in awe of the miraculous arrival of the tree and gifts, my little brother and I would run to my parents room with the usual excitement and begging of them to “get up!! Santa was here!” More often than not we would be instructed to choose one gift and bring it to their room to open with them. We could open that one gift and play with it until they got up. (now that I am all grown up, I understand why ;~) )

For Christmas dinner we would have turkey, glazed ham, baked yams, mashed potatoes, gravy, stuffing, orange jello with golden raisins and carrots, cranberries, olives (both black & green) stuffed celery, sweet pickles, dill pickles and so on. Each year my dad would have to try a dill pickle and confirm that he, indeed, still did not like them. As with a couple other holidays, Christmas dinner was a 2-day event . And on day 2 the baked yams would be transformed to candied yams :)

As I grew up and had a family of my own, my parents would come and spend Christmas eve (and Christmas day) at my house. After the children went to bed, “Santa” would then bring the gifts and the tree and the decorating would begin! Until the first Christmas without my Mama, I would still go to bed before it was complete – I never lost the joy of the wonder of seeing it all for the first time Christmas morning.

Today I continue to carry on the traditions. Santa still brings the tree and all the gifts (although I now see it to completion ). I have made some minor changes to fit my own family; on Christmas eve we usually attend a Candlelight Service at church and read “The Night Before Christmas”before bed. On Christmas morning we read the Christmas story from the Bible before any gifts are open. I have also changed the dinner menu a little bit; with my family so changed some things still hurt a little too much to continue.

Through it all and through the years, we never lost sight of what the purpose of the holiday is all about. I know and understand the true meaning and am doing my best to pass it on to my children. I am the last of my family to carry on many of these traditions. I hope my children will one day carry some of them on with their families. Traditions, like the families they come from, bring us joy and comfort to last a lifetime. They remind us of our roots and the love that has nourished them.

Is it just me??

2008-12-22T22:52:00.000-08:00

The year I was born my parents lived in Eugene. It snowed over 3 feet that year. It never snowed like that again...until this year...I moved here in August. I hadn't lived in Oregon since my parents moved away before I was a year old... could it be a coincidence? ha ha ha

Anyway -- the real reason for my post....God is good and He DOES answer prayers...

Here are some pictures of the crazy winter snow that has fallen in the Salem / Keizer area since Friday (it is crazy -- as you can see from my post last Thursday, it was looking like spring) -- but for now I am truly thanking God and my WONDERFUL husband.

As a surprise Christmas gift for my children, I bought my dad an airline ticket to come and spend a week with us. I bought the ticket a couple of months ago. As you know, he lives in Pocatello, so had to fly out of Boise which is about 250 miles away. Saturday, early morning he hit the road to be sure to get to the airport in time for his 5 pm flight. It ended up being canceled. Of course, Southwest (which I will NEVER use again) was far from helpful...so, to make a long and frustrating story short -- after 2 days hanging around in the airport with flight after flight getting canceled, lots of crying (on my part) and TONS of prayer - we were able to find a flight with a different airline and my dad finally flew into Portland 2 days late. Darren drove the 52 miles to the airport to pick him up. It took nearly 2 hours to get to the airport and over 2 hours to get back home. (He had left Salem a little before 3pm and got home after 7).

Anyway, while we were watching the news they were talking about how many flights had been canceled and so forth. I told the kids, "If this keeps up you won't be able to see your dad after Christmas." The kids all shrugged then Patrick started to be upset. I asked him what was wrong (he had said earlier that he didn't want to see his dad) - and he said that if he didn't get to Pocatello that he wouldn't get to see his Grampa, then he began to cry. He went on and on about how much he missed his Grampa and how if he didn't get to see him during Christmas break, when would he get to see him again and so on. It was really hard to not say anything. But I just told him to don't worry about it, that it would work out ....you know - the "mom thing"

So, I expected that Darren and my dad would return around 7, so I finally put dinner on the table and everyone sat down. I said the dinner prayer and everyone began to eat. We have started a new "tradition" at our house; every night at dinner we will take turns saying something we are thankful for, happy for or something good that happened that day. The kids began to go around the table (my girlfriend Jennifer, her husband and 2 children are staying with us, so they are also part of the "game") -- as they were saying their "happy things" there was a knock on the door. I went to answer it and, of course, it was my dad. I whispered a hello and helped him to get off his coat. As we were walking to the dining room the kids said, "Mom, it's your turn. What are you thankful for?" I said, "I can't really tell you, but I can show you." as we walked into the dining room. Emi screamed "Grampa!" and she and Aaron jumped up from the table. Patrick turned around and the look on his face made it all worth it! Eventually my dad and Darren got to sit down and eat dinner. They shared their adventure driving back from Portland and we all enjoyed yummy pot roast (that had been in the crock pot for over 24 hours (it was SO good) ) with potatoes, celery & carrots along with mashed potatoes and gravy.

My dad will be with us until Saturday (longer if the storm sticks around). It will, indeed, be a Merry Christmas after all. Today is proof, if anyone ever doubted, that God DOES answer prayers!

God bless you and yours -- He has sure blessed us !

Another snow day???

2008-12-17T15:49:00.000-08:00

The kids have been out of school all week because of "snow days" - For those of you from "home" you will get a kick out of this...

I didn't take any pictures on Monday or Tuesday, however, I did on Wednesday. As far as the amount of snow and all -- it looked the same all three days. On Monday the roads were pretty icy so I could sort of understand why they canceled school. I'm sure the bus drivers didn't want to be out on the icy roads for the first snow of the year. Tuesday, though, I rolled my eyes in disbelief. By Wednesday I was thinking, "This is getting ridiculous!" And then today.... well, just take a look for yourself.

Wednesday - Coming into our yard
and our back yard

The field to the north of our house and the drive coming into our yard

And for the Thursday Snow day.... You'll NEVER believe it.....

Thursday
Our back yard, the field to the north and coming into our yard

So, as you can see, in Oregon one flake of snow can make the world stand still !! Just gotta' love it... or not so much. The kids are REALLY getting bored and actually wishing they were in school. And just think, Saturday begins the 2 week Christmas vacation.

Pain in Paradise

2008-12-09T13:55:00.000-08:00

Two Mondays ago Patrick had a visit to the orthodontist. They took impressions of his teeth and put some spacers between his back teeth. The spacers are little teeny, tiny rubber band looking things. His teeth are very tight together so even those tiny things caused a bit of pain for the first day or two.

Yesterday we were back at the orthodontist to get his braces put on. He had been pretty excited about getting braces. He thought it would be "cool" and had been looking forward to it ever since we found out a couple of years ago that he would need them.

Patrick is one of the "lucky" patients. We have been doing preventative dentistry from the beginning - pulling baby teeth so the adult teeth would have room to come in straighter, and so forth. Because of this, he will only need to wear his braces for 6 - 12 months (that's the lucky part).

Now that he has his braces on, he's thinking it isn't quite as "cool" as he had previously thought! Getting his teeth ready for the braces was a painful operation to begin with. Now that they are on, he is experiencing even more pain. He has a couple of sores in his mouth from the braces rubbing and the pressure of the bands on his back teeth are making it difficult for him to chew.

He should be feeling better in the next few days but as you can imagine, he really doesn't believe that at the moment. Hopefully his mouth will be feeling well enough to enjoy the wonderful candy that Santa is sure to bring!

Time sure flies....

2008-11-24T08:38:00.000-08:00

...when you are growing up!

Today is my eldest son's birthday. I can't believe how quickly the time goes by.

Saturday we ha a celebration for him. The best part is that he thinks "that's all he gets". :)

I made reservations for paint-ball. He'd never played before, but really wanted to try it. So, on Saturday we all loaded up in the car - the five of us, his uncle and 2 cousins along with some friends. We girls didn't play, we let the boys have fun alone. A total of 8 boys (including the "dads") had a great time together! We packed some snacks and cake and hot chocolate. Aaron, the youngest, initially said he wanted to play, but once we got there and he started to put on the gear, changed his mind. I convinced him to just give it a try and if he didn't like it, then one of the girls would take his place. So...off to the woods he went...when they came back after the first round I could see he had had a GREAT time, so I asked him if I could take off his vest and give it to Amanda, so she could play, since he didn't want to - and he said "NO, Mama!! I want to play!" - so we had a good laugh, teasing him a little bit, and he went back and played with the "big boys" for the rest of the afternoon.

Patrick, of course, had a wonderful time! He now wants his own paint-ball gun and gear, so that he can play at home any time he wants to. The other boys all said they had a good time, too, and have been talking about when they can all go again. I guess I'd have to say, he had a great birthday!

The kids all have to go to their dad's for Thanksgiving. We decided that, since we could find no relevant reason that Thanksgiving is on a Thursday, we are going to celebrate it today. So, today will be a great day of Thanksgiving! Thanks for each other, our family & friends, thanks for my son's 12th birthday, thanks for health and happiness, and thanks for the new lives we are building in Oregon - along with so many other things to be thankful for... and after the turkey and stuffing, we will have birthday cake!

From our family to yours - we wish you a happy Thanksgiving, as well - on whatever day you celebrate! :~D

His Business

2008-11-14T09:05:00.001-08:00

If anyone is interested in checking out the website to Darren's new business,
check out my myspace. I have a link to it in my blog.

So far it is going well and we are both pretty excited about it!

Settling in...

2008-11-12T16:29:00.001-08:00

We are getting settled in, our house is looking more like a home every day. We really like it here.

In addition to where we live, we are making Oregon more officially our home. We have completed all of our "change of address" notifications (I think), I have ordered the Oregon Drivers' License Manual for Darren and myself to get our Oregon licenses, and we are getting Oregon phone numbers. We finally got our land line in today - we can use it as soon as the cordless phones are charged :)

If anyone would like our new information, just let me know and I will send it to you in a personal e-mail. We will also be including the new information in Christmas cards - so if we have your mailing address, you'll be receiving it in the mail :) If we don't have your mailing address, well..... I guess we'll have to figure out a solution to that one :~ }

The next few months will be busy for everyone, I am sure! Lots of festivities and spending time with loved ones. I get to enjoy additional celebrations, as well. Besides the obvious, Patrick's birthday is less than 2 weeks away and Aaron's birthday is in January. My family also has a tradition of celebrating the new year with a feast shared with our loved ones. Traditionally we celebrate on New Years' day - this year, since the children will be in Idaho, we plan to do it as soon as they return. It won't be quite the same, but - as my mom always said - "You do the best you can with what you have to work with"

I hope you all enjoy the beginning of this season of celebrations and that you keep close to your hearts the true meaning of it all .... God Bless you and yours.

And the years fly by....

2008-11-10T23:54:00.001-08:00

It seems like only yesterday that my mama and I were walking the streets of "Old Town Pocatello", enjoying the, then annual, Cottages & Cranberries festivities. We were there for two reasons; one, because it was a wonderful winter celebration, and two, we were trying to get me to go into labor. We walked nearly everywhere that winter. It was a wonderful, scary, exciting time. Of course, the baby wouldn't come just then. The baby had ideas of it's own.

Finally the day came. I felt the first pains of labor late in the evening on November 23rd. We went to the hospital at around 2am with contractions 3 minutes apart, lasting one minute, on November 24th. I will spare you all the details. The short version is that my very first child, a boy, was born at 7:28pm on November 24th, 1996.

I can't believe that 12 years have gone by. My sweet, tiny baby boy, the one who saved my life, is nearly a teenager. It is a bitter-sweet time. It is so wonderful to see the young man he is becoming. I just wish the time hadn't gone by so quickly. He is changing so rapidly from a "baby" to a "man". I thank God for him (and my other children) every single day.

How well do you know me? - True or False

2008-11-05T08:34:00.000-08:00

Answer True or False to the following questions to find out how well you know me...

I am capable of...

1. Slipping on dry concrete
2. Falling UP stairs and breaking a bone
3. Tripping on flat, unobstructed surfaces
4. Accidentally bumping into someone ten feet away
5. being covered in bruises with no idea where they came from...

He's in BUSINESS!!

2008-11-02T11:09:00.001-08:00

Darren just started a new business that he has been dreaming and talking about for the last several years.

He made is first sale last week. He is REALLY excited about it! I don't know how much money he'll make, but the worst case scenario is that he will make enough to continue the pursuit.

As time goes on we are hoping to buy more machinery to make things more efficient. Also, my nieces boyfriend may end up helping out after graduation. (They have been talking about moving nearer by next summer)

Anyway -- I just wanted to share a little success. I am SO happy and proud of my husband! He's finally found his passion!

Halloween 2008

2008-11-01T11:21:00.001-07:00

Here are Patrick, Emileigh & Aaron
along with the pumpkins they carved

For costumes this year - I bought the mask Patrick is wearing and the cape for Aaron -
it's the most I've ever spent on Halloween costumes - about $20
with moving, though, I just couldn't find most of our Halloween stuff :~(

They do look pretty good, though. Don't you think?

My Emi -- SUCH an actress!

Aaron doesn't look too bad with dark hair ;^)
(still trying to wash it all out!)

Pumpkin Carving

2008-11-01T11:04:00.001-07:00

First you draw how you want it to look.....

it takes a lot of thought....

And then you cut out the "lid" -
MAN style!

And now the face.....
this is how to use a "little knife"

PUMPKIN HEAD!!

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2008-10-23T08:41:00.000-07:00

by poster

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2008-10-22T16:55:00.000-07:00

by poster

God is Good

2008-10-21T19:46:00.000-07:00

"Rejoice in the Lord, always, and again I say rejoice"

The Lord has blessed me with the most amazing friends. The kindness that comes from their hearts beams with the love and spirit of God.

Since the death of my mother I have felt very empty and lonely. That is not to say that every aspect of my life was gloomy. To the contrary, I have tried to focus on the many wonderful people still in my life; my children, father, husband, niece and other family members along with my dear old friends. I find joy in the little things that remind me every day of all the goodness around us. However, my mother occupied such a large part of my everyday life that the void left by her absence is sometimes overwhelming. She was the one person that I could say anything to and know it would not be held against me later. I could vent and pout and scream and cry and complain. I could laugh and smile and joke and prattle on until we were both exhausted. It never mattered. She always had time for me. She always new what was truly in my heart. She was my mother first and then my best friend. She knew when to take me seriously and when to just "smile and nod". Sometimes people would ask "What's HER problem?" and my mom would just shrug and say, "Wait a while, she'll be ok. She's just in one of her moods." She accepted me 100%, just as I am, no questions asked. I could talk to her about anything and she would listen and she would understand.

I know there will never be anyone like her in my life again. I know that is ok. That is the way it is. We are born, we live, we die. Since her death I have learned so many new things and have grown and matured in ways that I know I never would have before. I am finally learning how to open my heart and my eyes to the friends I have. Some of them I have known for many year. I had never really opened my heart to them. Not because I didn't trust them, but because I thought I didn't need them. I had my mama. I didn't socialize very much. Again, I didn't need to, I had my mama and I had my sister and that was really all I needed.

Now I embark on an entirely new chapter in my life. I have wonderful friends who I can talk to, who I can share with, who also have opened their lives and invited me in. We take turns offering each other comfort and joy, friendship and fellowship.

I know things will never be the same. But, you know...that isn't always such a bad thing!

men will be boys...

2008-10-13T21:47:00.000-07:00

Darren giving me "the bird". And yes, it is real. For the rest of the story (and more gruesome pics) you'll have to check out my 'space. :~)

2008-10-12T12:04:00.000-07:00

Emileigh, Aaron and I did go to the beach this weekend for a short time. Around 10 or 11 Saturday morning we went down to the beach and saw a seal or a sea lion (don't really know how to tell them apart) right on the rocks on the beach! I didn't have my camera with me, so of course, didn't get a good picture. I did take a couple with my cell phone, the only trick now is to figure out how to get them off of my phone and onto the computer!

We had a nice day, building sand castles and walking along the beach. We found a brown-ish looking jellyfish which was dead, but nothing more exciting than seeing the seal/sea lion up close.

If I can figure out how to download the pictures I took, I will put them here and also on my 'space.

I am the Queen....

2008-10-09T13:57:00.001-07:00

...of procrastination! ha ha ha
I finally got some film developed and have posted some pictures of the kids having a great time at the beach (in our "It IS paradise" blog). As I pick up one or two rolls of film, I will drop another one or two off. Hopefully I'll get them all done soon and post some more interesting pictures.
A brief update...Patrick is in Idaho with his grandpa for a few days. Darren is working at the coast for a few days, and me...well, I'll be spending my weekend getting caught up on laundry and putting the final touches on the "unpacking adventure". Aaron and Emi will be enjoying a Friday off from school and hopefully helping me out a little bit :)

It really IS Paradise

2008-09-28T18:15:00.000-07:00

I had the most amazing day with my children yesterday! We began the day making the kitchen tidy after breakfast and picking up the house a bit. I put a pot roast on in the crock pot and we began to "pack up". We gathered some snacks; apples, celery, cookies, cheese & crackers, all in the picnic basket. Everyone got a change of clothes and a jacket and I grabbed a couple towels and a blanket. Then we loaded ourselves up into the van. (Darren had to work so he wasn't able to join us on our wonderful adventure.)

We left the house around 11:30am and stopped off at McDonald's (a RARE treat) and each got a couple things off the Dollar Menu, then we hit the freeway heading south.

Patrick read to us from his book for a while and we listened and sang along with the radio. We turned east and aimed for the coast.Our first stop was in Newport. We went down to the harbor and watched the sea lions that hang out on the docks there. They were sunning themselves and playing in the water. Some of them had a bit of an attitude when another sea lion wanted on the dock or wanted to "snuggle" with them. There was a large rock formation out a little way from the docks and it was covered with barking sea lions, as well. Many were climbing up the rocks then jumping back into the water. Others were playing and jumping and splashing and swimming around seeming to be playing and having childish fun with one-another. They were so entertaining to watch, we could have stayed for hours! However, after about 30 minutes we tore ourselves away.Our next stop was the light house in Newport. It is a very unique lighthouse as it was built specifically for the light-master and his family of 7 children. It was only used for 3 years until a bigger and brighter light was built further north up the coast. The light only shone for about 7 - 10 miles while the newer one shone up to 30 miles out to sea. It was also unique because it was built only for the Newport harbor where other lighthouses were built to offer safe lighting for greater distances.

After we left the lighthouse we returned north with Lincoln City as our destination. There is an area of the beach where you can drive right down to the sand. There are wonderful tide pools there with water-life in them. First we laid out the blanket and had a picnic snack while watching a couple men flying a kite and trying to make it do aerial tricks. After our snack we began searching the tide pools and beach for treasures.The kids found a lot of shells that they wanted to bring home and I came upon a very unique and beautiful rock formation. I am SO glad I had my camera with me! While I was taking a picture of the rock formation a young boy came running up asking "What did you find? What did you find?" I told him I didn't find anything that I was merely taking a picture. He replied with, "Well, we found a jelly fish. You wanna come see?" So, of course, we went to see. He and his father had, indeed, found a small jelly fish. It was REALLY neat to see. After admiring his jelly fish, we went back on the beach in search of our own treasures. We saw a seagull with a fish, about 12 or more inches long, in it's beak. Patrick and Aaron tried to sneak around behind it as I slowly walked in front of it so we could get a closer look and so I could get a picture (that part did not happen). The gull jumped off the rock it was on to the sand. As it landed the fish flopped and wiggled and the gull dropped it just as the tide was coming in. The fish quickly found the water and begun to swim back out to sea. The seagull screamed and screeched and tried to recapture it's prey and was unsuccessful. Then the gull began to scream and screech at us, as if we were to blame for the loss of his dinner. And, I suppose, maybe we were a little to blame :). We began to walk the beach again and I quickly found a large jelly fish - which, it turns out, was dead. A few feet away from that I found another smaller one, which was alive. We took these to the small pool that the boy and his dad had made for the purpose of closer inspection of the prizes discovered.Further down the beach we found many small (and some large) hermit crabs, small fish with some of them as big as my thumb and some tiny clear fish. The kids found some really long sea weed things that they were using like lasso ropes, running up and down the beach. The kids were playing "chicken" with the waves. The all 3 held hands and ran out into the water and waited for the waves to come back in. As the waves started towards them they all started running back towards the dry part of the beach. Aaron stopped to look back and see where the water was and he tripped over his own feet and fell face first into the surf. I don't know who laughed more, me or HIM! It was such a WONDERFUL day!

Around 7:00pm we left the beach. Leo and Becky had invited us to stop by on our way back home so we did. Becky wasn't home, but we visited with Leo for a while. We were about to leave when Becky called and said she was on her way home and that we should have something to eat before we drove the rest of the way home. So, we did. Leo made some wonderful grilled tuna and cheese sandwiches. Patrick and I helped him. The tuna was fresh, caught and canned by someone they know. It was SO yummy! Becky served toll house cookie dough for desert. The kids thought they had actually died and gone to heaven...or at least that Aunt Becky was an angel!

We cleaned up the dishes and visited for a few more minutes, then, about 9:00 said our "thank you"s and "goodbye"s and began the journey back home. We arrived home at about 10:45pm. The kids had fallen asleep in the car and were happy to snuggle into their beds.
And so ended our "cool, family fun, bodacious, exciting, stupendous, awesome, good, silly, funtastic, memories" day together.

(if you'd like to see the full album check out my 'space)

Daily Devotions

2008-09-22T09:07:00.000-07:00

At the school where I work we, the teachers and staff, have morning devotions together before the beginning of the school day. We each take turns leading the devotions. While reading my Bible, looking for inspiration for my turn this coming Wednesday, I came upon a verse that holds some meaning for events that have happened in my life.

Matthew 18:15-18
Moreover, if your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault between you and him alone. If he hears you, have have gained your brother. (16) But if he will not hear, take with you one or two more, that by the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. (17) And if he refuses to hear them, tell it to the church. But if he refuses even to hear the church, let him be to you like a heathen and a tax collector. (18) Assuredly, I say to you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.

These are words that I, myself, have had occasion to practice but did not. Sometimes it seems easier to talk to someone else about a problem than to address the situation head on. None of us likes confrontation, either as the confronter or the "confrontee".

My Mom used to say, "Never say anything behind someone's back that you wouldn't say to their face." Ya', Mom...much easier said than done.

I have found that often when we have told someone directly of feelings they have gone on to share the conversation and hurt with others rather than deal with the situation directly with us, which has only caused greater issue. So, more often than not, I simply let my personal pain sit in my heart rather than say anything. Because of this and because of my wanting to avoid confrontation or simply not wanting to "stir the pot" or overstep my bounds, feeling like it wasn't my place to say anything, relationships have been lost. Some of them lost to the point where trust and friendship can never be regained. I am sad about that. I'm sure some of you can relate to that, as well.

I know I am not perfect. I have never pretended to be. What's the point, it would be such an obvious lie! I am starting a new chapter in my life in a new place. Along with that, I am going to do my best to be a better person and put into practice the lessons I have been taught my entire life...

That's my girl!

2008-09-21T19:51:00.000-07:00

As Tammy Wynette says... "Kids say the darndest things..."
Yesterday Emi said, "It's stupid to be stupid." Pretty deep for such a little girl. But her insight didn't seem to last very long. Tonight at dinner the boys (including Darren) were being boys (that means being gross) talking about making chocolate in the toilet and so forth. And then Emi, completely oblivious says "Chocolate is my favorite candy, you know." We all started laughing and she honestly had absolutely no idea why! Yep -- That's MY girl!!

FTWC (for those who care...)

2008-09-21T11:49:00.000-07:00

We are still pretty busy putting the house in order and unpacking, but we are finally online at home again. I wasn't planning on posting much here because I prefer myspace. However, I was told by a couple people that they prefer reading here, so.... guess I'll be doing "double duty" :~)

That's it for now. I'll be back to give an update, probably later tonight.

Bugs in Paradise

2008-09-10T13:43:00.000-07:00

Before we had even nailed down our new housing arrangements I found a job, or rather, a job found me. I will fill you in about my job in greater detail in a future post. For now, very basically, let's just say I work at a private school in Salem.

Last week I found out that one of my duties consisted of "disease prevention", since I've had some limited experience in that area in the past. "Hhhhmmmm..... interesting", you might say. Well, actually, not so much! For those of you who have never had the "Lice Experience", you are sure missing out on some GREAT FUN!!

I had to check the heads of the entire student body. What an adventure! No one knows where they come from and no one knows how they arrive, but we had 2 unrelated students with bug eggs (nits) hitching a ride on their scalps.

The children have been treated and the passengers have gone to "Lice Heaven". But you know, I still just can't quit itching!

Building Paradise

2008-09-08T09:35:00.000-07:00

Well, we have finally begun getting things in the house and unpacked. I am SO happy and SO exhausted!! I feel like I have done nothing but pack and move boxes for the past 2 1/2 months. I cannot wait to be done!

I did treat myself to a LONG bath last night. I even stayed in the water until it was so cold I began to shiver... candles and a book - it was WONDERFUL! I think I am ready to tackle the big job again after work. It's coming together, slowly but surely. Hopefully we'll be completely done by the weekend. As soon as we have it all together I'll post some pictures. I have to wait, you see, to get my computer all set up and some internet service :~) {I'm currently using the one at work}

I have to tell you -- I have the greatest kids EVER!! They helped pack stuff, load it into the car, unload it into the storage unit, unload it from the storage unit and into the moving van, unload it from the moving van into the shop and then, this weekend, unload the shop into the house. They have done a great job in unpacking their own things in their rooms and taking boxes and trash out as I unpack things. They have worked SO hard -- even Aaron!! Patrick is building some muscles - he has been my "right hand" helping me carry in book-shelves and other pieces of furniture. Emi & Aaron have been carrying a lot of heavy stuff, too. When we are done I plan to give them a HUGE reward -- not sure what it will be, yet -- but it is going to have to be something good for all the work they've been doing!

Once we get settled in I've told the kids we can paint their rooms how they'd like them and they can decorate to fit their own personalities. They are REALLY excited for that! The boys have to share a room, but I've arranged the furniture so they each have their own space -- and they seem to like it. Aaron, of course, would like more room to play with all of his Hot Wheels, but I've promised him some space in the garage for all his cars - after all, isn't a garage where cars are supposed to be? ;~)

I am looking forward to having a home where our family can come and visit. Once I get everything unpacked and put away, I plan to have those who helped us and the family that lives nearby over for a nice dinner. I appreciate the help we received SO much!! And the family that lives nearby -- well -- the kids really enjoy playing together - so it would be a treat for everyone! I really miss having big family dinners - up until the past few years - we would have the whole family together nearly every weekend at one of our homes or another, helping with yard work, spring cleaning, holiday decorating and such -- we'd all pitch in and help at each others' house, making small work of big jobs then share a family dinner. When there wasn't a job that needed doing, we'd just visit and play Monopoly, Pictionary, Oklahoma Rummy or some other game. I miss those times.

I am so blessed, now, to have a great husband and spectacular children to build new traditions and have happy times and memories with. My only sadness is that my mother and sister are gone and my dad and niece are over 700 miles away...and my brothers, well.....

Paradise - a little bit closer

2008-08-26T08:36:00.000-07:00

WOW! What a week! We didn't get nearly as much done in Idaho as we'd hoped. We did get my dad ready for winter - mostly. We got the moving van. 26 feet is a LOT bigger than I thought it would be. We got the main storage unit empty and most of the stuff from my dad's house that we needed to take; 4 wheeler, dirt bikes, Darren's tools, the kids' bicycles and so forth. We ended up having to leave a couple of things that I'd hoped we would have room for - the air hockey table & Foosball table, to be more specific :^) No biggie - we can get them next time.

The hardest part of all was leaving my dad. The kids have been such a big part of his life, and he a huge part of theirs. I really wish he would come here, with us, but so far he says he prefers to stay in Idaho. It's going to be really difficult not being near him, especially with his health. I miss him very much, already. The kids do, too. Patrick even said he wanted to just stay in Idaho and live with "Grampa" because he knows he is going to "miss him too much"...

We left early Sunday morning. As for pets, we ended up only bringing 1 dog. The cats ran away from the my girlfriend's home and we couldn't bring the turtle and guppy in the moving van - there just wasn't room in the cab it was SOOO small. Jenny, we found out, had bone cancer and it was more painful than she (and we) could bear, so we had to put her down. It was very, very, very sad...

Darren drove the truck from Pocatello to Baker. Then he and Patrick took the car and went on to hunting camp. Emi, Aaron and I then took over the moving truck and drove the rest of the way "home". It wasn't too bad until we got past The Dalles. Then it got dark and began to rain pretty hard. By the time I got to Portland it was a torrential downpour and the traffic was so heavy! I'd have never thought the traffic would be so bad on a Sunday night. The kids and I finally made it to Salem around 9:30, went and got some dinner and called it a day.

Monday morning we began unloading the moving van into the shop. Darren's cousins helped out (thank goodness!!) and we got it empty in just a couple of hours. So, we are that much closer to making our new home. We still can't move into the house for about another week but our clothes and things are here and there is truly a light at the end of the tunnel.

The kids are all signed up for school and we have their bus information. We will all leave and get home at about the same time each day, which is really nice. I also think, for the most part, we'll even have all the same days off.

I'm really happy with the way everything is falling into place. Very clearly, God is taking care of us. I have been blessed.

things that make you say "hhhmmmm"

2008-08-15T17:34:00.000-07:00

I have an "e-friend" that I have been receiving newsletters from for about 5 or 6 years. He is trying to build a youth ranch and youth "support center" type thing in the Boise area. The scope of his efforts revolve around a youth ranch and shelter for foster children, troubled youth, a shelter for unwed mothers and other young people in need of spiritual guidance and help - along with a prayer center for church retreats, individuals and groups in need of a place to have solitude and prayer with our Saviour.

Anyway - as I was reading his latest newsletter something in it really hit home with me regarding current life situations -- I will paste the entire quote below:

"When God gives us something we like/want, what should our response be? In thinking about the new house that we want to buy, I had to think about how we could use that house for ministry. God simply doesn't give us material possessions so that we can be selfish with them. He expects us to share, and to use them to minister to others, especially those in need. So first I had to consider whether or not we have been ministering to the people around us, right here, right now, in spite of how cramped this house is. And I had to learn to be thankful for it too. In fact, we didn't find the new house until after I finally told God that I would stay in this house for however long He wanted, if that meant He had a ministry here for us to do."

Like the title of this blog...... "things that make you say "hhhmmmm....""

....If anyone is interested in information about this wonderful program - let me know and I can send you ranch information and/or have you put on the newsletter mailing list....

God's blessings to you all.....

2008-08-14T08:33:00.000-07:00

This will be "short and sweet". We don't have our own internet access yet and I am borrowing a computer. Thought I'd give a brief update....

First our living situation -- I was told it was my fault that a trip to Oregon was cancelled - because I had mentioned that my husband and I were staying in Portland...Well, we are no longer living in Portland - we have a nice place to live....in Salem. There is lots of room for the kids to play, it is close to my job and it is easy access to the freeway for Darren to get to work without having to fight driving through town :^)

We are leaving this weekend to pick up the kids and our stuff from Pocatello. We'll be there for about a week, getting my dad all set up for winter and taking care of some last minute details. Then I'll come back to Salem while Darren and Patrick stop off in - gosh I don't know where - to hunt with Darren's dad and brothers for a week. Patrick is terribly excited about it! He hasn't talked about much else for months!

Next, employment -- I got a job right away, here in Salem -- guess it was "meant to be" - as I'd been looking for work for over a month in Portland and hadn't really found much of anything. Guess God knew the way things would turn out there.

There really isn't a lot else to talk about. We have all the things we need; food, shelter, clothing, jobs....and of course, eachother. God has blessed us with that.

Well, like I said, I'm borrowing a computer so I'd best end here. I doubt I'll be updating anything here from now on. If anyone would like my other contact info, just post a note here and I'll check back every once in a while and get that to you.

Happy end of summer :)

A whole new Paradise

2008-07-24T14:28:00.000-07:00

Well, I think we found a place to live. Not 100% yet, still have a phone call to make to be sure. We also have to find out when the current tenants will be out - we were told not until the end of August. I'm not crazy about that - it really cuts it close for the kids to start school.

Yesterday I got my diploma in the mail. It is "officially" true - I am FINALLY a University graduate! I thought the day would NEVER come!! So many long nights, weekends, and every other spare moment spent studying, doing projects or research, and writing...oh the endless writing! But it is finally over - I have my BA ! Hurray!!

I've sent off a few more applications and resumes. The last two I sent I am very hopeful. So far my problem has been, or so I have been advised, is that I am "over-qualified" -- they are afraid that if they hire me, I'll get bored and move on...pretty crazy, huh? Spend all that time becoming "qualified" and now I'm "over-qualified" --

Not a whole lot else going on right now. Still camping in the in-law's basement, Darren is working hard nearly every day helping to build his dad's new house, Darren's daughter is going to have a baby soon, and I'll get to have my kids back in just a few more weeks. That about sums up the excitement here!

Hope all'ya'all are enjoying your summer!

Because she "asked"

2008-07-18T11:05:00.000-07:00

This was on a blog that had me listed on it so I suppose I'll play along and answer the best I can...

You have to list 3 joys, 3 fears, 3 goals, 3 current obsessions, 3 random surprising facts about yourself and then tag 5 people that have to complete this too.

Joys:
1. My children are my greatest joy
2. Making a new life with my wonderful husband
3. Memories of the times I had with my mom and sister and the "music" that we shared
4. Music, all kinds of music, in the traditional sense, also the music in nature; the sound of the ocean waves, the breeze singing through the trees, the creek flowing over rocks, babies singing in their little infant voices...you get the idea :^)

Fears:
1. Being alone
2. Making wrong choices for my family
3. not being able to see or hear

Goals:
1. Find a job that is good for my family and good for me
2. To finally be content and "settled"
3. To be better than I was last year

Current obsessions:
1. Sadly I cannot think of anything I am really obsessed with -- other than turing on the radio the second I get into the car... It's very lonely here without my music :(

2. Once we get a place of our own, I will be obsessed with making it into a home for us, not just a house...

Random surprising facts about me:
1. I don't think I really have anything to match this category, -- uuummm -- I lived and worked in Germany for about 9 months

2. I was in the Miss Teen Washington USA Pagent

3. I met Henry Mancini, Alan Thicke, Eduard Sheverdnatze (sp?) , Secretary of State James Baker.....

Who I'm Tagging:
:^( No-one... I don't know anyone to add to this spot

Making a new home

2008-07-16T09:50:00.000-07:00

Well, I made it to Portland. I told Darren I wasn't coming until Friday, but actually left Thursday afternoon to surprise him. I got in around 10pm local time. It was a long, but pleasant drive.

On Friday afternoon we packed up the car and went up to the mountains camping. We spent the entire weekend up there and it was really nice and relaxing, especially after so much chaos the last few weeks!

I began my job search on Monday. I am "officially" employed with Express Temp service -- they are supposed to be finding me some work in the next day or two, or at least, that is what they said. Today I am off to Job Service to see what they have there.

In my frantic attempt to get "everything" done before I left Idaho, I forgot to do one major task... I changed my address, I changed my name on my drivers license, I renewed my tabs and insurance on the car, I changed my name on my bank account...all of these things and more, but I forgot to get a new Social Security Card! It seems that when you fill out paperwork for a job, they prefer your card matches all your other ID! Silly me!! So, my first stop today will be the Social Security office to make that change. A very busy day!

Finding a job, though, isn't my biggest worry. I know I can get one, there are plenty to be had. I am most worried about finding a place to live. There is a great house next door to Darren's dad, but the guy needs to sell it right away and with me just graduating and all, well, we know we can't buy it on our own...so we have to find a place to rent -- which around here is MUCH easier said than done, especially when you have 3 children, 2 dogs, 2 cats, a turtle and a fish!

So I guess I'd better quit talking about it and hit the bricks. I'll let you know when I land that "perfect job". :^)

Newest arrival

2008-07-06T08:15:00.000-07:00

Our newest grand-daughter is home from the hospital. She and mommy are doing well. Here are some pictures of the newest addition.

Jessie & Victoria Rose

Victoria Rose in the hospital.

Big sister, Faith and baby Victoria

Big brother, Caleb and baby Victoria

Ready to go home from the hospital :^)

Babies in Paradise

2008-07-04T07:56:00.001-07:00

I just wanted to share the most recent happy news. Darren and I are grandparents to baby number 6! Yesterday at 12:38pm our newest granddaughter, Victoria Rose, was born. She was 9 lbs 2.8 oz and 20" long. She has lots of hair according to mommy. I hope to get some pictures of her pretty soon. Here are a couple of pictures taken shortly before mommy went to the hospital to have her.

2008-07-04T07:50:00.000-07:00

Sultry Paradise

2008-06-30T21:58:00.000-07:00

WOW!! For those of you who may not know, southeastern Idaho is classified as "high desert". We do have trees and forests, don't get me wrong, but we also have our fair share of lava fields, sage and rattle snakes that thrive in the hot, dry summers. Our nights can be cold and the winters, because of the elevation, even colder. I welcome the summer with open arms. I love to feel the sunshine on my skin, swim in the nearby lakes and reservoirs and camp out at every opportunity. This winter, however, seemed to go on for ever. We had snow clear into late May and in the surrounding mountains, even into June. Now, like I said, I'm not one to complain about summer, but it sure would have been nice to see a bit of the spring weather. We jumped right from literally freezing cold to over 90 degrees. It sure takes your breath away!

I have been working hard to get our house all packed up so I can join my fantabulous husband in Oregon. But, I must admit, it has been slow-going. This heat just drains the energy. Even at night, right now, it is 11pm and still 87 degrees out...I do love the summer, but I sure would have liked to visit with "spring" for a few days...maybe next year :)

Hope you all are finding enjoyable ways to stay cool. For me, I let the sweat pour from skin then stand in front of the little box fan...

Going back to Paradise

2008-06-27T12:15:00.000-07:00

This one will be short. I am just very excited and wanted to share. We have a bit of a plan.

I have been in Pocatello for a couple of weeks while Darren has been in Portland. On Monday, July 7th I will be loading up the van with some of the smaller things that are more difficult to pack and heading back to Portland. I plan to stay there for a couple of weeks or so to find a job. After I get a job and we find a home for us and the children, we will return to Pocatello together, load up the moving van and make the final move. I am SO excited. We finally have a plan and I get to be with my husband, where I belong! Hurray for us!!

Our little corner of Paradise

2008-06-22T18:37:00.000-07:00

First I need to say "Thank you!" to my new sister-in-law, Joy. She created this site for Darren and me.

So, Darren and I have been married for 2 weeks now and although I am thrilled to be his wife, I'd have to say that this last week has been absolutely TERRIBLE!!

We had a lovely honeymoon! Sunday, after we "checked out" of the campground we drove up to Lincoln City and drove around a little bit. Then we headed up to Darren's uncle Karl's cabin. We visited there a little bit and took a 4-wheeler ride. For Darren it was a blast, for me, not so much :) Part of the trail was a little scary for me. I'm not very experienced when it comes to 4-wheelers and snowmobiles but I am learning. When the trails weren't so rough and I felt safe enough to un-bury my face from Darren's back, it was beautiful! We rode up into the national forest and found a couple different nice places to park. Darren had brought his custom made pellet gun and we took turns shooting at targets. It was really fun. And the views were breath-taking.

After that we headed back to Lincoln City to find a hotel for the night. We found a really quaint place next to the beach. It had begun to rain, so we had our picnic dinner inside and looked out the sliding glass doors to enjoy the ocean. Sea gulls observed our meal and came to the window begging, so we threw them a few crackers. They were fun to watch! Later, the weather got a little more pleasant, so we went down to the beach to explore the tide pools. We found some nice shells, caught a few hermit crabs and enjoyed the wondrous beauty of it all. For our final outing of the evening, we went to a little pub and sang karoke. Darren, of course, sang wonderfully. Me, well, I think I get a gold star for effort! It was a perfect day.

Monday morning we went up to the cabin and spent a couple of relaxing days there. When it wasn't raining we took another ride on the 4-wheelers. This time I rode by myself. It was a little daunting for Darren, I think, but I enjoyed it. He challenged my skills a bit, but I stuck with it and did ok. I really enjoy learning and doing new things with Darren!!

Wednesday we were on our way back to Portland and on Friday morning, I left, alone, to return to Idaho. There is lots of packing and such to get done here. Darren will come to Idaho in a couple more weeks, I hope, to get our things. Then we'll continue our great adventure! HURRAY!!

So, when I say my second week of marriage hasn't been that great, well.... can you blame me? ;^)

Just Married - Our Reception

2008-06-09T20:02:00.000-07:00

And now we are husband and wife

as happy as can be

a new family begins a "crazy, tragic, sometimes almost magic, awful, beautiful life!"
(yep -- she listens to a LOT of country music!!)

Jeff, Ann & Katie Thatcher
(his brother & family)

Brandon Thatcher
(his nephew)

Joy, Versii, Josh & Kaden Owens
(his sister & family)

Emily & Shawna (his cousin), his brother Jeff, and Dad Les

boy, Darren sure looks happy!

Maggie & Sara Maher, John White, Joey Maher
& little Sammy Maher in the foreground
(her family)

The happy bride & her Daddy
no matter what, she will always be his little girl

she wishes her mom could have been with us. At least she knows that
"there are holes in the floor of heaven and she (Mom) can clearly see"
it rained earlier in the day, but the sun finally came out --
first Mom's tears and then her joy

yes, she is a happy girl!

we finally made it!

and we even like eachother!

the bride's cousins Mary & Jamie
along with Jamie's grand-daughter Cheyenne

his Grandma Lorraine, sister Joy & sister-in-law Sakurako

below: Joy & his cousin Anna

his cousin's wife, Anna and son Andrew
his cousin Jared, Anna his wife & their son John

Gary & Ann Griffith
(his Aunt & Uncle

silly boys!

aren't they so sweet ?
Christopher, Loren & Patrick

her son Aaron & great-nephews Johnny & Sammy

Sammy is tired, but the food is TOO good!

little Johnny says "WAY too good!"

Aaron says... can't you just let me eat??
(her youngest son)

"Yes, Bumby - after this picture"

Reed & Sakurako Thatcher
(his brother & sister-in-law)

his cousins Tammy, Jennifer and Dad

more boys being silly boys

Darren, her dad, Joy, Leo & Cheyenne

Darren, Emileigh & Jack
(her husband, her daughter & her dad)

I'm married, I'm happy and I'm HUNGRY!

Darren, his grandma Lorraine Thatcher, Katherine

Nathalia Kocharyan (Anna's Mom), Anna Thatcher, Verushun (Anna's Dad) and Jeff Thatcher

Shall we cut the cake?

ya' -- but let's wait for Aaron, too

Patrick, Aaron, the bride & groom and Emileigh

mmm... it's good

you wanna' try?

aren't you supposed to eat it?

yep -- it's good. well, at least the frosting is :)

shall we open some gifts?

Les, Marsha, Darren & Katherine Thatcher

us with Darren's cousin Shawna with daughter Emily and his Uncle Leo

don't they ever quit?

apparently not... :^)

Emi says... where shall I begin....

maybe with a roll....

Our Family & Friends Gathering Before the Wedding

2008-06-09T18:42:00.000-07:00

Patrick, Dad, Emileigh, Cheyenne, Rose & her boyfriend - waiting for the bride

Still waiting. Thank goodness the rain stopped!

Patrick & Darren and lots of family in the background. Patrick was (and is) the best man.

little Johnny, Johnny & Sammy --my nephew and his boys. Aren't they handsome?!

And waiting some more :^)

his Aunt Kim Thatcher and cousin Kelsie

John, Joey & Aaron

his Uncle Karl Thatcher and cousin KJ

and he begins to wonder... will she ever show up?

and they begin to wonder, too ;^)

left to right: Cheyenne, Tammy, Angela, Joy, Jennifer, Aunt Ann, Joshua, Versii, Grandma Lorraine, Kaden & Uncle Gary

his nephew Morgan and sister-in-law Sakurako

Les & Marsha Thatcher

Our Wedding Ceremony

2008-06-09T14:32:00.000-07:00

Once upon a time at Beverly Beach, Oregon...A man, her children, niece and clergy waited for the bride.
Her father brought her to them...
but did not want to let her go.
but because he knew the girl loved the man, he did let her go and so the story begins...
"Good afternoon and welcome all to the celebration of marriage for Katherine McNeil and Darren Thatcher. Katherine and Darren, today you are surrounded by your family and friends. They are here to offer you their love an support at this wonderful time and share in the happiness of this day. And at the same time, Patrick, Emileigh and Aaron are here affirming the love between them and their mother and affirming their acceptance of Darren into their lives as advisor, parental guide and friend. By joining together in this ceremony of love, all five are saying yes to love, yes to caring and yes to the formation of this family.
The covenant of marriage is one that can be entered into only by persons who are both legally and spiritually free to offer themselve to one another. This celebration is an outward expression of a sacred and inward union of hearts, which th echurch may bless and the state make legal, but neither can create or annul because this union is created by the loving purpose and kept by the abiding will of Darren, Katherine, Patrick, Emileigh and Aaron as they begin their new life today.Darren, please consider these questions and give me your answer when I ask for it. Do you come here of your free will and with a conscious desire to be united in marriage with Katherine? Do you come here in the presence of these witnesses to declare your commitment to Katherine and choose her as the one with whom you wish to spend your life? Will you honor her, love and respect her, comfort her and keep her? In good times an din bad, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, all the days of your life? And do you willingly assume the role of advisor, parental guide and friend to Patrick, Emileigh and Aaron, preserving the unity of family love with all sincerity and affection? If you agree with these questions, please answer "I do". -- and he says "I do!"Katherine, please consider these questions adn give me your answer when I ask for it. Do you come here of your free will and with a conscious desire to be united in marriage with Darren? Do you come here in the presence of these witnesses declare your commitment to Darren and choose him as the one with whom you wish to spend your life? Will you honor him, love and respect him, comfort him and keep him? In good time and in bad, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, all the days of your life? Will you respect and uphold his role as advisor, parental guide and friend for Patrick, Emileigh and Aaron, preserving the unity of family love with all sincerity and affection? If you agree with these questions, please answer "I do". -- and she says "I do!"
Patrick, Emileigh and Aaron will you accept and respect the love that you mother and Darren have for you and each other? Will you honor and respect them and always be honest with them? Do you promise to not have water fights or snowball fights in the house, unless the parents start it first? If you accept these questions, please each answer "I do". -- and the children say "I do!"
With the willingness of the children to form this family, and to show theri love and respect for each child, Katherine and Darren have a special gift for Patrick, Emileigh and Aaron.
"I Darren, take you Katherine, to be my wife. I promise to love you, to remain honest and faithful to you, to be available for you when you are in pain or grief, and when you are filled with happiness. I promise to challenge you always, to support and nurture you, and to be receptive to the gift of your love. I love you with all of my heart adn I will love you for the rest of my life".

I Katherine, take you Darren to be my husband. Hold onto me and I will hold on to you. Through anything and everything life brings our way. Bring me your worries and I'll listen with my heart. Tell me what you need and I will do my best to give it to you. Love me, even when it isn't easy, adn I promise to do the same for you, for the rest of my life."
The vows which have been exchanged by Darren adn Katherine have been offered in our hearing. The wedding ring become an enduring symbol of promises which have been made. Just as teh rings have no beginning and no end they symbolize the unending love of Darren and Katherine. A circle is strong standing and you all, family and friends, stand in a circle of love and support to Darren, Katherine, Patrick, Emileigh and Aaron.
The circle of these bands will always remind them of the never-ending strength, love and support they give to eacho other and receive from you.
"With this ring, I take you as my friend and my love, beside me and apart from me, in laughter and tears, loving you for who you are. As a symbol of my love for you and my commitment to you throughout our lives, I give you this ring in the spirit of sacred matrimony."
"With this ring, I take you as my friend and my love, beside me and apart from me, in laughter and tears, loving you for who you are. As a symbol of my love for you and my commitment to you throughout our lives, I give you this ring in the spirit of scred matrimony."

In consideration of the events which we have gathered today to witness, including the commitment of the children to be a strong partof this union, the exchange of vows between Darren and Katherine adn their willingness to share life in faithfulness to one another and their world, I declare to you that they are husband and wife. May their marriage be blessed by their higher spirit adn te guardians sent to watch over all of us. Darren, your favorite part, you may kiss your bride!
Let us now join in blessing Darren and Katherine in the continuing of their lives together and celebrate this newly-formed family. We recognize that the presence of spirit within them enables them to fulfill the promise of true partnership in life. We know and affirm that they live in joy and in love.
May the blessing of life, the joy of love, the peace of truth, the wisdom and strength of spirit, be your constant companions, now and always. Ladies and Gentlemen, it is my honor to present to you, Mr. and Mrs. Darren Thatcher!

Sand & Seashells Set The Scene

2008-06-09T14:23:00.000-07:00

The lovely centerpieces, beautifully adorned cake and cake table decorations were done by my sister in law -- Joy.